Greg Gifford on Teaching at Masters
Bob & Ann Maree Goudzwaard discuss academics and counseling with Greg Gifford, a pastor and assistant professor of Biblical Counseling at The Master’s University.
View Full Resource
The Biblical Counseling Coalition with Curtis Solomon
Craig Marshall and Ann Maree Goudzwaard talk with Curtis Solomon about his work as the director of the Biblical Counseling Coalition.
View Full Resource
Loving Jesus – Zack Eswine
Craig Marshall talks with Pastor Zack Eswine about the wisdom literature and how these underused texts can inform our counseling and illuminate how Jesus spoke to suffering people.
View Full Resource
Slowing Down and Listening
Craig Marshall talks with Pastor Scott Mehl what he has learned doing biblical counseling through church planting. How can we practice discipleship well and create meaningful relationships?
View Full Resource
Technology & The Church
Jim Newheiser and Bob Goudzwaard talk with Tim Challies about his popular blogging ministry and the blessings and challenges of technology for the church.
View Full Resource
Faith For Waiting {Transcript}
And the mind and the voice of unbelief is disapproval. And so it leaks out all over the place. And so we find 100 different ways to telegraph that disapproval, and then we’re mystified that they never call us. See, Ishmael is a voice that whispers to the wayward mind, and Ishmael speaks to that prodigal and says to him or her, “Oh certainly they love you. Oh yes, they love you. They just don’t like you.” Of course they love you, they’re your parents, of course they love you, they’re in your family. Of course they love you. They’re on record for loving you. You’re just not likable. They don’t really prefer having you around. You kind of represent something that’s kind of appalling to them. You’re disgusting to them.
View Full Resource
A Fool’s Story: From Simple-ism to Hope {Transcript}
One of the skills that you and I have learned is how to get somewhere. Our culture is built on it, teaches you how to get somewhere, especially if you’re in a white collar world, it teaches you how to get somewhere. Well, you went to kindergarten in order to get to … Excuse me, elementary school.
You went to that Subway sandwich. You went to … just being real.
View Full Resource
The Gospel Divides Families {Transcript}
e’ve already heard a lot about it. There’s some people who suffer in their families with unbelief. And some of the most disturbing words that Jesus ever spoke were about family. And in Luke 12 verse 49, he says, “I’ve come to cast fire upon the earth and how I wish it were already kindled, but I’ve a baptism to undergo, and how distressed I am until it is accomplished. Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth. I tell you know, but rather division, for from now on, five members in one household will be divided three against two, two against three. They will be divided father against son and son against father. Mother against daughter and daughter against mother and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”
View Full Resource
The Growth of the Biblical Counseling Movement
Jim Newheiser and the Goudzwaard’s sit down with Elyse Fitzpatrick to get a sense of the history of the biblical counseling movement. How did all this get started and where are we headed?
View Full Resource
How to Say “No”: Managing Counselee Expectations
Some biblical counselors don’t even think about saying “No” to the expectations of counselees; other counselors may struggle with the fear of disapproval this may bring. Counselors are to be committed, sacrificial, and long-suffering; but not without lots of wisdom.
View Full Resource
The Lost Sheep {Transcript}
I was thinking recently about the celebrity suicides we’ve seen recently and how several people have taken their own lives, people who were, from our assessment, living the life, people who seemed to have it all, people who seemed to have what we think would bring happiness, or what the culture around us would bring happiness. I think there’s certain people we can understand why that person would take their life, but these celebrities, like they’ve got it all. They’ve got fame, and they’ve got popularity, and they’ve got money, and they’ve got power. That seems like if I had those things I would be so fulfilled. I think that’s why our culture gets so rocked when celebrities, of all people, take their lives. We just can’t understand, “How could you have all that and still be missing joy?”
View Full Resource
Counseling from the Attributes of God
The task of counseling is inherently a God-ward task, with a God-ward focus. In order for us to truly be helpful to people, we must bring them to an accurate understanding of God through His word. In understanding God, Scripture says they are transformed from one level of glory to another. This session will help demonstrate for you why this is true, and how to go about this in the counseling process.
View Full Resource
Save the Saints – Brian Borgman
Craig and Darci Marshall talk with Brian Borgman about the role of shepherding as a key component of pastoring. How do we bring the warning passages of scripture into counseling?
View Full Resource
The Guilt of Sexual Abuse Trauma: The Sinner and the Sinned-Against
Sexual trauma always brings guilt—guilt toward God and man. This session will help both the sinner and sinned against understand their response in the aftermath of sexual trauma by demonstrating the biblical types of guilt that one can incur, and the biblical responses for each.
View Full Resource
Rugged Love for The Wayward Soul {Transcript}
See, one of the things we begin to discover as we wait into this world of prodigality is that the worst lies aren’t the ones that our prodigals tell us. The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves. This is why rugged love starts with strong enough to face evil. This is why I ask you to turn to Romans 12:9 where the word of God says, let love be genuine. Then, it pulls this second idea right up alongside of it, abhor what is evil. Then, we’re going to talk about the third idea in just a second. Let love be genuine.
View Full Resource
Ministering to Families with Disabilities
Regardless of the nature of the disability, its impact will be far-reaching. The disabled person is clearly affected, but so are those who have a relationship with that person, and they need the loving support of others. This session will encourage people to consider how the network of relationships in community, particularly in the church, can minister to the family affected by disability.
View Full Resource
Helping Survivors of Combat Trauma
Trauma is a life issue, not a military issue. However, there are particularities with the types of trauma experienced in combat. Come learn how to minister to the men and women who have faced the horrors of war in service to their nation.
View Full Resource
Profile of a Prodigal {Transcript}
The garden offers this extraordinary vision, this remarkable vision of the flourishing life, an existence that if anything was fully true and satisfying and good and delightful, but something happens. What happens? Prone to wander happens because paradise is not enough for these two. I mean, God has one simple rule, just one. That’s all there was, just one, and the serpent seizes upon this small law, this one rule, this one command ultimately based for their good, the serpent seizes upon it and incites this impulse to rebel, this impulse, this instinct to stray, to go rogue.
View Full Resource
Keeping Your Faith and Sanity with a Prodigal Child
This workshop will give you practical tools for keeping your grip on Christ while your children reject what you cherish the most. It also contains instruction on how to design daily truth statements to steady your mind when fear for your child’s eternal destiny overwhelms you.
View Full Resource
Leadership & Accountability with Dave Harvey
Jim Newheiser and Bob Goudzwaard talk with Dave Harvey about the challenges of ministry and leadership. How can we develop a church culture of authenticity and transparency?
View Full Resource
A Mother’s Story of Prayer and Fasting for Her Prodigal
The mother of a prodigal often feels helpless and despairing as she watches her child choose folly over faith. This can lead to a spiritual turmoil in the heart of the parent. This workshop will look at the role of prayer and fasting in strengthening the mother’s spiritual life. Personal stories and practical tips will be included.
View Full Resource
Helping the Family Through PTSD {Transcript}
For those of you who have family members with PTSD, you can identify with them. That you have bore brunt in many occasions. That you have served in ways that are greater than most counselors ever have with your loved one. That the family member is going to be there more than the pastor is. I don’t mean that because that’s the best or I’m not trying to make a case for how the family should be. I’m saying that, that’s the way it is that the wife is there, the husband is there, the kids are there. The parents are there. It’s the loved ones that minister most to those struggling with PTSD, so my goal has been to help angle ministry toward the family and helping equip the family with how they can respond and minister to their loved one who’s going through PTSD.
View Full Resource
Yours They Were: The Covenant of Redemption and Wayward Children
Oftentimes, when it comes to the salvation of their children, we find that our counselees hope was based on one of two things; their performance as parents or their child’s response to their competency. Imagine then the immense guilt they feel when their children reject the Lord. Their grief wavering between having failed miserably as a parent and the eternal destruction that seemingly awaits their child. Both of those self-centered hopes can bring about fear, deep pain, and profound regret for the counselee. This session will examine where things go awry and the truths we must rest our hope on as parents.
View Full Resource
Finding the Love of Jesus from Genesis to Revelation
For so many of us, the strange stories and bloody rituals of the Old Testament seem completely unrelated to our Christian faith…and yet, Jesus said that all the Old Testament was actually about him. In addition, frequently women feel like the Bible is biased against them and they wonder whether God is still a little irritated about that whole Garden of Eden thing. In this session, Elyse will explain what Jesus taught his disciples about the meaning of the OT and we’ll look at examples that will testify about God’s ongoing love for women.
View Full Resource
Helping the Individual Through PTSD {Transcript}
If you help people read the Bible through the lens of the suffering and difficulty that life has always held since the fall of mankind into sin. It can help them understand that they’re not alone. When they see the story of David who was a combat veteran, who went out, killed people, decapitated them, mutilated the dead bodies of his enemies to get his dowry, and then in Psalms 6, he’s describing sleepless nights where he’s soaking his couch in tears and his enemies surround him and he’s wrestling with these realities, that begins to help people connect their story to the story of scripture in a way that helps them understand, they are not alone.
View Full Resource
Save the Saints: The Church’s Role and Responsibility in Rescuing the Wandering
The perseverance of the saints is a community effort at finishing the race together. What happens when one stops running? The church community is called to action, to rescue the wandering, to “save the saints.” In this session Brian Borgman uses James 5:19-20 to show us how eternally important it is that we go after wandering prodigals.
View Full Resource
PTSD (Curtis Solomon & Greg Gifford)
Bob & Ann Maree Goudzwaard discuss counseling questions on PTSD with two veterans: Curtis Solomon (Director of the Biblical Counseling Coalition) and Greg Gifford (Assistant Professor of Biblical Counseling at The Master’s University).
View Full Resource
Resurrecting a Shattered Faith – Luke 24
Some of those whom we call “prodigals” have experienced faith-shattering events that contribute to their loss of hope in Christ, just like Christ’s earliest followers who found themselves reeling from the devastating events of Christ’s suffering and crucifixion. Wonderfully, the resurrected Christ meets these disappointed souls in their despair and reawakens their faith one step at a time. As a result of His thoughtful ministry to them, their faith is revived and deepened; and we are left with an example to follow as we seek to minister to certain prodigals in our lives.
View Full Resource
PTSD as an Interpretive Phenomenon {Transcript}
nd they would come home, many of them my colleagues, and some of them my friends, would come home and were diagnosed and occasionally medicated. And some even given pensions from the VA because of what they were going through with PTS or PTSD. However, there was very little hope for change. As I was coming out of the military, my peers were diagnosed, and they were given resources to learn how to cope, but they weren’t given any promise that, “You can work through this,” that “It doesn’t have to be like this the rest of your life.” Or as Curtis was saying in our last session, that, “You are not your PTSD. It’s not your identity.”
View Full Resource
The Centrality of Love for Counseling
In our efforts to help, counsel, and disciple others, we seek to gain the appropriate knowledge and skills for the task. But, in our attempt to be good counselors, good disciplers, or even just good friends, we can skip right past the fundamental requirement to all personal ministry: to love. In this session we’ll explore why loving those we’re ministering to and caring for is so centrally important to the work we’ve all been called to.
View Full Resource
Counseling Sexual Struggles in Marriage
Sexual struggles are some of the most common, yet unaddressed, difficulties for many married couples. To help a couple grow in their marriage will often involve counseling them through their sexual struggles. But, as always, biblical counsel must begin with a clear biblical vision for what God created sex to be and how couples should view and understand it rightly in light of that design.
View Full Resource
Demystifying PTSD {Transcript}
This afternoon, you’ll actually get a chance to meet a couple of their instructors and learn a little bit more about that program throughout the day. So, that’s a little bit of my background. Why I am interested in this topic and why I want to share with you a little bit about counseling from the biblical perspective in helping those wrestling with post traumatic stress. So, the talk this morning, this session is called Demystifying PTSD, because I really want to help people understand post traumatic stress in a way that takes away some of the stigma. Some of the fears, some of the confusion that often shrouds this very difficult issue. For starters, the diagnostic and statistical manual, the DSM, which is the book that is used by psychologists and psychiatrists to diagnose and then, offer treatment for various different mental health issues. Defines post traumatic stress disorder as “an issue, a disorder, that arises in somebody after … One month after or anytime after one month from experiencing a traumatic event. And it is involves certain systems that are kind of clustered around three different areas”.
View Full Resource
The Gospel and Mental Health
We hear every day that our nation and our communities are in the midst of a mental health crisis. But, what exactly is mental health? Does the Bible have anything to say about it? How can we, as Christians, understand what the world calls mental health? And what, if anything, do biblical counselors have to offer to those struggling with these common and serious problems?
View Full Resource
Dealing with Wayward Parents
Many young adults face significant challenges from their parents. Issues include controlling parents, parents who disparage one’s spouse, parents who don’t properly fulfill their role as grandparents, parents who are financially irresponsible, parents who fall into serious sins including immorality and substance abuse, etc. What responsibilities do adult children have to their parents? What should adult children do when their own lives and families are being impacted by the waywardness of their parents?
View Full Resource
Practical Issues in Church Discipline
Sound biblical counseling functions in the context of the local church. Counselees must be committed members of a faithful local church which follows biblical principles of church discipline. Counselors work with church leaders to follow biblical principles of church discipline so that counselees can be, if necessary, restored and so that the church will be kept pure.
View Full Resource
Getting Things Done Like a Christian
God created us for a purpose. We exist in this world to do good to others which in turn brings glory to God. In this session we will see how Christians can live their lives with purpose and get things done in a way that serves their God-given mission.
View Full Resource
Great Men and Their Godly Moms
It may surprise us to learn how many of our Christian heroes were shaped by the attentiveness and godliness of their mothers. Even though they may have had fathers who were present, involved, and godly, still they would insist that their primary spiritual influencer had been their mother. In this session we will draw both challenge and encouragement from a few of them.
View Full Resource
Sage Healing: The Remedies Wisdom Trusts
Sometimes fixes can’t come quickly or at all (at least in the way we want). What do we offer others when the puzzle isn’t solved and a quick fix isn’t an option? The wisdom literature of the Bible shows us the way in Jesus.
View Full Resource
Sage Listening: The Talk Wisdom Uses
Sometimes the best way to overcome defensiveness for those in sorrows, sins or skepticisms is to cultivate the language of metaphor and indirect speech. Jesus, as the fulfillment of the Bible’s wisdom literature, teaches us this lost art.
View Full Resource
Sage Presence: The Welcome Wisdom Offers
When we counsel, parent or befriend someone with trials and troubles, how can we cultivate a listening presence? The wisdom literature of the Bible points us to Jesus and shows us how.
View Full Resource
What is Normal?
What do you do when someone you love leaves? And how do you pursue someone who has hurt you, who has sinned against you?
Whether you are dealing with an unfaithful marriage partner, a rebellious child, or a wayward friend, the counsel you offer needs to be pursued in a gospel-rooted approach, grounded in truth and practiced in the midst of Christian community.
This resource was recorded live at the 2018 Institute: Loving Wayward Souls: Grace for our Prodigals
View Full Resource
Departures, Desertions and Leadership Suffering
To be a pastor is to experience euphoric peaks and dark valleys. Often the most discouraging and depressing moments for pastors come when those they have served depart or desert the church. It often brings up questions about identity, endurance and calling, all summarized by “pastoral suffering.” This session will explore how the Apostle Paul navigated the same experiences and applied the gospel in powerful ways to the struggles of ministry. More importantly, the session is designed to impart hope to any pastors suffering under the cloud of a painful separation, or wanting to be equipped to help others cope with the loss of those they love.
View Full Resource
Faith For Waiting
What do you do when someone you love leaves? And how do you pursue someone who has hurt you, who has sinned against you?
Whether you are dealing with an unfaithful marriage partner, a rebellious child, or a wayward friend, the counsel you offer needs to be pursued in a gospel-rooted approach, grounded in truth and practiced in the midst of Christian community.
This resource was recorded live at the 2018 Institute: Loving Wayward Souls: Grace for our Prodigals
View Full Resource
The Gospel Divides Families
What do you do when someone you love leaves? And how do you pursue someone who has hurt you, who has sinned against you?
Whether you are dealing with an unfaithful marriage partner, a rebellious child, or a wayward friend, the counsel you offer needs to be pursued in a gospel-rooted approach, grounded in truth and practiced in the midst of Christian community.
This resource was recorded live at the 2018 Institute: Loving Wayward Souls: Grace for our Prodigals
View Full Resource
A Fool’s Story: From Simple-ism to Hope
What do you do when someone you love leaves? And how do you pursue someone who has hurt you, who has sinned against you?
Whether you are dealing with an unfaithful marriage partner, a rebellious child, or a wayward friend, the counsel you offer needs to be pursued in a gospel-rooted approach, grounded in truth and practiced in the midst of Christian community.
This resource was recorded live at the 2018 Institute: Loving Wayward Souls: Grace for our Prodigals
View Full Resource
The Lost Sheep
What do you do when someone you love leaves? And how do you pursue someone who has hurt you, who has sinned against you?
Whether you are dealing with an unfaithful marriage partner, a rebellious child, or a wayward friend, the counsel you offer needs to be pursued in a gospel-rooted approach, grounded in truth and practiced in the midst of Christian community.
This resource was recorded live at the 2018 Institute: Loving Wayward Souls: Grace for our Prodigals
View Full Resource
Rugged Love for The Wayward Soul
What do you do when someone you love leaves? And how do you pursue someone who has hurt you, who has sinned against you?
Whether you are dealing with an unfaithful marriage partner, a rebellious child, or a wayward friend, the counsel you offer needs to be pursued in a gospel-rooted approach, grounded in truth and practiced in the midst of Christian community.
This resource was recorded live at the 2018 Institute: Loving Wayward Souls: Grace for our Prodigals
View Full Resource
Profile of a Prodigal
What do you do when someone you love leaves? And how do you pursue someone who has hurt you, who has sinned against you?
Whether you are dealing with an unfaithful marriage partner, a rebellious child, or a wayward friend, the counsel you offer needs to be pursued in a gospel-rooted approach, grounded in truth and practiced in the midst of Christian community.
This resource was recorded live at the 2018 Institute: Loving Wayward Souls: Grace for our Prodigals
View Full Resource
Helping the Family Through PTSD
Families are often the ones most influenced by PTSD, and also the ones most qualified to minister to their loved one with PTSD. This session will help the counselor equip the family to become a helpful environment and influence for biblical change.
View Full Resource
Helping the Individual Through PTSD
Having established hope that God’s Word addresses this challenging topic, this session will offer some specific ways the counselor can help the counselee to move forward.
View Full Resource
PTSD as an Interpretive Phenomenon
The way one interprets the original trauma influences the way they respond to the trauma. This session will help the attendee understand what encourages individuals to interpret trauma in certain ways, and how to help them form a biblical worldview.
View Full Resource
Demystifying PTSD
Receiving the diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can be scary or even debilitating to a person. It can also be intimidating to a biblical counselor who wants to help. The goal of this session is to pull back the shroud of mystery that makes PTSD so scary for both counselor and counselee, and offer the assurance that God’s Word does address this challenging issue.
View Full Resource
CDC2-21. The Divine Design for Marriage
Marriage is a stage designed to show forth the realities of the gospel. This seminar will set forth the biblical vision of marriage and give practical counsel of how we can reorient our hearts and actions so our marriages better reflect the profound realities they illustrate.
View Full Resource
CDC2-30. What’s Medical About Mental Illness?
Is mental illness due to sin or disease? This session discusses the controversy on this topic, discusses biblical definitions of illness and sin and offers suggestions for how to be helpful in the midst of the controversy.
View Full Resource
CDC2-31. Counseling People With a Psychological Diagnosis
Many counselees are living with a prior psychological diagnosis. How can we help them with compassion and humility? This session will help you learn to speak biblically to heart and life issues of counselees regardless of diagnosis.
View Full Resource
CDC2-22. Transforming Grace in Marriage Roles 1
The gospel of grace needs to be at the heart of how we understand marriage roles. Both husband and wife have a unique part to play that shows forth the relationship of Christ with his church. This session will focus on the role of the husband in marriage.
View Full Resource
CDC2-23. Transforming Grace in Marriage Roles 2
The gospel of grace needs to be at the heart of how we understand marriage roles. Both husband and wife have a unique part to play that shows forth the relationship of Christ with his church. This session will focus on the role of the wife in marriage.
View Full Resource
CDC2-24. Keys to Preserving and Strengthening Your Marriage
Marriage requires lifelong maintenance to keep it healthy and strong. It takes a lot of effort to guard and grow your marriage but the reward is more than worth it. This session will discuss many practical ways to preserve and strengthen your marriage.
View Full Resource
When to Stop Counseling
Bob Goudzwaard and Jim Newheiser walk through one of the IBCD handouts which lists eight cues that signal a counselee’s readiness to move from official counseling into a more casual discipleship relationship in his local church.
View Full Resource
Counseling Medical Issues
Bob Goudzwaard sits down with Jim Newheiser to talk about medical and mental issues in counseling. What can biblical counselors offer to those with pathological brain conditions?
View Full Resource
Interview with Shannon McCoy pt 2
Craig continues speaking with counselor and speaker Shannon McCoy about the issue of “instant gratification” and how to cultivate spiritual disciplines to counterbalance this problem. Shannon also describes what it is like to be a woman in the biblical counseling world and how she creates different opportunities to practice one-another care.
View Full Resource
Interview with Shannon McCoy pt 1
Craig interviews counselor and speaker Shannon McCoy about her journey into biblical counseling and her concern for women in the church. They also discuss the topic of “instant gratification” and the heart issues surrounding it.
View Full Resource
CDC1-18. Temptation 1 {Transcript}
And David here what he’s doing with Bathsheba is such an act of ingratitude. The Lord’s said, “I’ve given you everything. How could you do this?” And I think if you were to know, and we don’t know for sure, but I doubt if David had written any psalms lately. I think, what he’s saying, is he had drifted from the Lord, drifted from the delight he had even when he’s dancing and rejoicing when the Ark of the Covenant comes into his capital. It appears that his heart has grown cold. He’s also guilty of neglecting his duty as king, verses 1 and 2. It says, “When kings go off to battle that he sends his underlings to go.” And in the context of that time in the rainy season you couldn’t fight. Now it’s spring, go fight. Another little detail in verse 2. Now when evening came David arose from his bed. Does that sound good to you? It’s not when I usually get up, in the evening, I don’t know. But you see what happens to David.
View Full Resource
Postpartum Depression
How does Scripture speak to women struggling with Postpartum Depression? In this podcast, Caroline Newheiser speaks with Ann Maree Goudzwaard about the strength, promises, hope, and resurrection power found in God’s sustaining Word.
View Full Resource
CDC1-16. Worry/Anxiety {Transcript}
The implication there is, the real cause of worry, ultimately, is unbelief. They were not trusting in God. Oftentimes, the person who worries is desiring something in God’s place. They’re wanting their health. I had a person who was terrified of getting cancer, she doesn’t even have cancer, but she’s terrified of getting cancer. There are different issues going on. You could argue with her, well, statistically, it’s unlikely, you don’t have a lot of cancer in your family, you’re still fairly young. But can I tell her from the Bible, she’s not gonna get cancer? No, I can’t. Can I tell her she’s gonna live to see her children grown and married and grandchildren? No, I can’t make those promises. What can I tell her? I can tell her that God, Who is sovereign, has His plan, which is perfect for your life, and no matter what happens, whether He gives you cancer or not, that you can trust Him to do what is best, including taking care of your family. Some people, it’s financial security. They’re worried they’re gonna lose their house, they’re worried they can’t pay the bills.
And worry can become very life-dominating. That’s where all these things are together. A person who’s worried can get angry, when they’re threatened, they can become depressed. Worry can affect you physically. Laura talks about this, how when someone is really stressed on the inside, and they’re worried about a relationship, they’re worried about circumstances in their life, it’s going to affect you somehow, organically. Lack of sleep, tension in your stomach, digestive problems. Stress, worry, fear, all are related. And there are ways that we deal with worry sinfully when something concerns us.
View Full Resource
CDC1-13. Grace When Things Are Hard {Transcript}
And as you read in the Bible, trials are the ordinary experience of believers. People like in their families, people have these kind of idealized dreams of multigenerational peace and everybody’s on the same page. This isn’t what happens in Scripture. The very first couple, Adam and Eve, have one of their sons as a rebel against God who kills the other. And as you go through the rest of the people in Scripture, you have many, many trials. Abraham and Sarah where Abraham puts his wife’s purity at risk and then sleeps with her maid Hagar and there’s conflict in the home and Ishmael is kicked out with his mother. And on and on you go. In Jacob’s family, two wives and a brother beaten, tossed in, you know, Joseph tossed into a pit by his other brothers who were jealous and favoritism and on and on we go. In Ezekiel, you actually have an interesting chapter in chapter 18 where you have multiple generations. You have a believing generation followed by an unbelieving generation then another believing generation. The same thing happens in the books of the Kings where some righteous kings then they have wicked sons and vice versa. We’re going to have sometimes even in our own families. Jesus warned in Luke 12, From now on five members in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three. They’ll be divided father against son and son against father, mother against daughter, daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law against mother-in-law. The Gospel itself will bring us, attract more trials of persecution. People have trials, as I said, so many of their trials are in their families.
View Full Resource
CDC1-12. Peacemaking 3 {Transcript}
He has a passion that His church be pure. A person who calls himself a Christian and is cheating people in his used car lot, or in his insurance or investment business, is troubling the reputation of the church to the entire community. I actually got a call one day from a pastor friend and he said one of my deacons is on the front page of the local paper today, but it’s not good, he’s been caught embezzling. The church has to take action as well. So sins which can damage the Lords reputation, sins which endanger the purity and unity of the church. Paul warns about those who cause dissensions. He also warns about a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough. So if you have someone in the church, and this can also be a doctrinal issue, we talked earlier about differences of eschatology but we actually had in our church at one time two people who claimed that Christ had already come and was not coming back. That was it. And people who believe nutty things like that wanna share it with everybody else. And we had to clamp down on it and finally tell them to leave and they were no longer welcome here to protect the church from their influence. In a moral instance, that if you have, it’s just sadly so common today, people from Christian homes, young people claiming to be Christians and they’re living in fornication. A man and a woman not married to each other, take a cruise together or a vacation together, they’re gonna be in the same room, or it’s known that they’re living together and the church has to take action. What’s gonna happen if you don’t intervene? It’s going to spread and other people think it must be okay. And so there has to be again, loving confrontation but if they will not repent, that’s where it begins, you have to say, this is not right, you cannot do this and be a member of a church.
View Full Resource
CDC1-11. Peacemaking 2 {Transcript}
Peacemaking begins with confessing your own sin. Jesus said, “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. In the way you judge you will be judged, and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? For how can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of your eye and behold, the log is in your own eye. You hypocrite. First take the log out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” In almost every conflict which I’ve ever tried to mediate, when you get the parties together, what do they want to talk about? The other person, and what they did wrong. And the accusations begin to fly. Well Jesus is telling us that before you can deal with the sins of others, you must first deal with your own sin. He says, later you can get the speck out of his eye, but first you need to deal with the beam in your own eye.
View Full Resource
CDC1-10. Peacemaking 1 {Transcript}
Now, peace is kind of a funny thing because everybody says he’s in favor of peace, right? Even the President of Iran will say he’s in favor of peace and yet peace is hard to come by. We live in a world full of conflict, among nations, throughout the world. There are wars, there are revolutions, there are divisions. And among individuals, our courts are full of lawsuits, divorces, people in neighborhoods fighting, couples fighting, abuse taking place, shouting, hitting. Churches have divisions. Conflict sometimes over important doctrine and sometimes over the color to paint a room or the addition of another musical instrument that some people don’t agree with or a different kind of worship. Pair church organizations often have a lot of trouble with divisions that can take place there. Actually, one of our missionaries, I was checking during a break, and he’s teaching in a seminary abroad, and he’s concerned that the seminary, which has been there for many decades, may dissolve because of a conflict taking place right now among the leadership of the seminary. And he’s been teaching there for some years and he may have to go find another place of ministry.
View Full Resource
Q/A When People Reject our Counsel
When counseling, responses can vary widely. What do we do when people don’t take our counsel? Craig and Jim sit down to discuss a listener question about this personal aspect of the counseling process.
View Full Resource
CDC1-08. How Do People Change? 2 {Transcript}
There are some people who would have stopped this talk after the first half and just said, “Great, just look to Christ, believe in him, and don’t do anything else.” And that is not a biblical perspective either. And there’s some who seem to break out in hives if someone uses the imperative and uses a command even though the Bible is full of these commands as well, including commands to believers. And they’re so fearful of what they call molism that they, I think, shy away from the biblical imperatives. They will even say, both in preaching and in counseling, just tell people what Christ has done for them, not what they should do for Christ. Well, it’s not either or, it’s both and. Tell them what Christ has done for them. Don’t neglect that. Even if they’re already Christians, keep telling them. But then because of what Christ has done for them, they need to respond. An example of I think the wrong kind of counseling. This is an actual case that happened to me. A couple came in and the husband was enslaved to pornography of a very perverse type. He was neglecting his wife sexually and they went to their pastor and the pastor who had this mentality said, “All I can tell you is look to Christ.” And the wife said, “Well, do we need to like, “cut off the Internet, or put a filter on, “does my husband need some accountability?” “Just look to Christ.” Now, I think we should tell the guy to look to Christ but I think the Bible says a lot more than that as well, like flee youthful lust, if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. In the same way… I heard one time, again, someone of this mentality preaching through the Book of Ephesians. And as he came to the section, very practical section in four and five, he took a really big chunk. Immorality, impurity or greed should not be named among you, no filthiness or silly talk, let no one deceive you, don’t be a partaker of darkness, don’t participate unfruitful deeds of darkness. And he’s going through all of these commands that Paul is making, and he said, “All you need to know is that Christ has fulfilled this for you.” Now I would agree with the guy that it’s important for us to know when we proclaim the law that Christ has fulfilled the law for us or we’d be in despair because we fall short. But I don’t think Paul would have agreed that’s all we need to say about that passage.
View Full Resource
Counseling an Abuser: 3 Steps
Typically, “why” questions are ineffective in counseling, as people are more likely to blame their sin on the behavior of another. This is especially true in the case of abusers. Asking an abuser why he hit his wife will open the door for him to blame her perceived lack of respect or submission, her chastisement of him, or some other aspect of her behavior that provoked him. This is not what the biblical counselor is after. Instead, asking “what” questions provides more specific, accurate, and valuable data. For example, asking the counselee “What did you expect your wife to do after you began calling her those names?” can expose the true desires of the heart. Through “what” questions, the counselor can discover the lust for control, desire for power, and overwhelming pride that is generally driving abusers. With this step, the biblical counselor should begin to look out for true, biblical repentance.
View Full Resource
035 Interview with Keith Palmer
How can churches create a culture of discipleship? Workshop speaker Keith Palmer talks with Craig Marshall about how he came into biblical counseling, his work with ACBC, and how his church practices one-another care with the ministry of the Center for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship. This interview was recorded live at the 2017 Institute “Addictions: Grace for the Journey.“
View Full Resource
034 Interview with George Scipione
Former Executive Director George Scipione talks about the early days of IBCD and the biblical counseling movement. He joins Jim Newheiser to pass on what they have learned over the years through difficulties in ministry and counseling. This interview was recorded live at the 2017 Institute “Addictions: Grace for the Journey.“
View Full Resource
033 Interview with Brian Borgman {Transcript}
Brian Borgman:
I just think that this is really one of the most practical and helpful conferences that there is. IBCD itself is just a treasure trove of resources. You can go to the website there’s … You know you can just … You’re dealing with something, you can have people listen, you can listen yourself, and so I love what you guys do and, of course, love what George and Jim have built into this over the years. I personally have profited from it. People in our church have profited from it. We’ve done levels one and two for Sunday school, for the care and discipleship. I just see this as really just sort of a hands on equipping type ministry.
Craig Marshall:
Thanks so much for your contributions to that content as well. Having you come and speak and the way you open the word on these topics. I know it’s always, it’s fun for me as we think about a conference theme and then you and I talk a little bit and what aspects need addressed and you’re always willing to tackle something and see what the scriptures have to say about that, especially with the pastoral one another component of it. That’s really helpful.
Then your writings, Viewings In Faith and Spiritual Warfare, they’ve just been really helpful in pastoral counseling settings. Really appreciate having you on the team that was as well. Can you tell me a little bit about what you’ll be talking about at this year’s conference?
Brian Borgman:
Well, if you remember rightly, Craig, I tried to bow out of actually doing anything this year, but our mutual friend brought a little pressure to bear. The breakout session is going to be on pastoral lessons on dealing with addictions. Basically when you and I had talked about that as a workshop I though “Oh well that’d be great.” Well, then I started trying to put it together and it was really hard because there’s a lot of stuff that you realize we did that wrong, we did that wrong. So what I decided to do to kind of help prepare for this is three people that had been in drug or alcohol addiction that had, all three had been under church discipline. All three, or two of the three had actually been excommunicated. They ended up being restored, repented and restored to the church.
I sat down with each of them and just asked them a series of questions, just interviewed them. You know, how did you get into it, all the questions dealing with the sin itself to what did the church do that was helpful, what did the church do that was not helpful. Once I started to put that together and see the way that these answers were sort of jelling, then it became a little more clear as to the direction that I would take.
View Full Resource
033 Interview with Brian Borgman {Clip 3 | 2:15}
Your viewing a clip from the Care & Discipleship Podcast.
For more information about this and other episodes please visit the podcast page.
View Full Resource
Help Strengthen the Local Church
View Full Resource
033 Interview with Brian Borgman
Pastor Brian Borgman talks about how his church uses IBCD resources for counseling. He also unpacks what his 25 years of ministry has taught him about dealing with addiction. This interview was recorded live at the 2017 Institute “Addictions: Grace for the Journey.“
View Full Resource
032 Interview with The Newheisers
Craig sits down with Jim and Caroline Newheiser to catch up since their move to North Carolina. They talk about Jim’s new work and Caroline’s experience in the Master of Arts in Counseling program at RTS. Caroline discusses how women can become involved in one-another care and the opportunities women have to serve in the church. This interview was recorded live at the 2017 Institute “Addictions: Grace for the Journey.“
View Full Resource
031 Interview with Charles Hodges
Keynote speaker Dr. Charles Hodges speaks with Craig about counseling people with addictions from his perspective as a medical doctor. They also discuss the process of filming the IBCD Observation video on bipolar disorder. This interview was recorded live at the 2017 Institute “Addictions: Grace for the Journey.“
View Full Resource
030 Interview with Mark Shaw {Transcript}
Jim Newheiser:
What are some of the things you come up against most frequently that they’re seen differently? What are some of the most common things, especially for people listening who just aren’t familiar with all the ins and outs of those dynamics?
Mark Shaw:
The way that the world counsels is therapy and medicine. That’s what their hope is in and that, somehow, you’ll magically find the answers within your own self. We know the answers come from God’s word and by his spirit. That’s what changes one’s heart, motives, and desires.
They just believe that you help the girls, you get them on medicine, and you create a safe environment for them, which we want that, as well, but then their method of change is not one that brings, really, any lasting hope. It labels them. It gives them medicine. It keeps them, I think, from finding the freedom that’s available in Christ.
We’re going to do counseling. The world says do counseling. We’re going to do it in a Biblical way and offer them anger management skills, but do it in a Biblical way. Everything that the world has to offer, we can offer in a Christ centered, gospel-centric way.
Jim Newheiser:
I had a question. I’ve actually had the opportunity to supervise people who are your interns, I think, or one who’s your intern at Vision of Hope. One thing that impressed me is, those people are working … I gave the analogy, “You’re not working the maternity ward, you’re working in the trauma unit.” I would assume you’re dealing with addictions, you’re dealing with the really hard cases.
I guess I’d have two questions. One would be, how do you keep yourself and others encouraged, because I’m sure there are a lot of cases where people continue in their sin, which is not your failure, but how do you keep people going? What kinds of successes are you seeing?
Mark Shaw:
Yeah, the first one is tricky, because we kind of ebb and flow. Whenever a resident leaves the program, whether they leave in rebellion or we have to dismiss them, and dismissals are usually for reasons where they’re not safe, or they’re not helping keep other people safe, they’re putting them in danger … Whenever someone leaves, it’s always a dagger to the heart of the girls that I supervise. It is tough.
We have a weekly staff meeting, which I think is as important for relationship and encouragement as it is to cover the business of the week. We communicate well. You have to stay on the scriptures. You have to understand that some people get more connected to certain counselee in our place than others.
I think that’s my role, is to shepherd this group of ladies to help them to not take it so hard when someone leaves or there’s a failure. We do see a lot of that. We do have about a 30% graduation rate, which is great. I compare that … The world’s graduation rate, there’s a 45% success rate for 90 day programs. Typically, our girls are in our program 18 months or so, so we’re talking about a year and a half versus three months and we have a 30% graduation rate.
We think that’s a tremendous success rate and we’re thankful for that, but you do have to encourage each other. Hebrews talks about that, encouraging one another every day, exhorting one another daily. I think that has to happen in an environment like you described, because you nailed it on the head. That’s exactly what we deal with.
View Full Resource
Finding Rest When There Isn’t Any part 2 {Transcript}
Death. The kind of pressure that he’s undergoing. For some of us, we’re blessed. We have a position, we have a salary, we have people who are responding to the Word, responding to our counseling but we’re constantly complaining that God isn’t something and we just forget. Paul has no pension and Paul’s actual life is on the line and he’s saying, “I’m scared” and he’s looking to the Lord. The convergence of things that cause us hopelessness, despair, sadness, are legitimate. This is legitimate fear. I understand irrational fear very much in my own life. I’m a fearful person. A person of anxieties, person of melancholy. I am Eeyore, “We’re all gonna die.” My wife, Jessica, and you’ll know what I’m saying when you meet her, she’s Tigger. “It’s the morning, it’s a new day!” Right? But this is legitimate, sane fear. Emotional fatigue from external pressures of criticism, situational afflictions, bodily he’s tired, and all of this has made him sad. So let’s just pause there for a moment and say we get sad and we have pressures. Some of us imagine more pressures than there are but all of us have legitimate ones and there are times in your life when you will say, “I’m sad, I’m scared, I’m wore out, “I don’t have any rest, I can’t sleep, “and I’m afflicted”, and that statement, those statements, will not mean that you have no faith. Those statements will be undergirded by the faith you have to say them and to know that you are held by the one who undergirds all that stuff and gets through all that stuff. Because somehow he says, “But God”. Now here’s the thing, notice Paul can’t fix it all.
So number one, he can’t be everywhere at once, he’s local in a place. Number two, he has afflictions, he has fears that he cannot fix. Notice none of these circumstances change in his life. Something’s gonna change inside of him but his circumstances don’t change. It’s not fixed. It doesn’t go away. He’s gonna go to bed that night and everything is not made right and so you were never meant to fix it all. I know you’re trying so hard to. That’s why some of you are driving other people nuts. They have to walk on eggshells around you, they have to figure out how to talk to you ’cause you are constantly trying to fix it. And the thing is, being able to fix it all, being able to have the ability to do that, that’s described by a word like “omnipotent”, all powerful, able to fix anything and there’s only one person in the entire universe that has that quality and it isn’t you and it isn’t me, it’s God. You were never meant to repent because you couldn’t fix it. You’re meant to repent because you tried to fix it all. And Paul can’t fix it and he doesn’t know everything. He doesn’t know what’s gonna happen, that’s why he’s scared. He doesn’t know what’s coming around the next corner. He’s afflicted at every turn. To know everything is called “omniscience” and you and I, as a finite local creature, were never meant to know everything. Stop repenting because you don’t know everything. Start repenting because you’ve been trying to. That is the great temptation when these pressures come, to be like God: everywhere, fix it all, I know it all, I can manage it. And look at that remarkable penetrating freedom to deliver you from all that and just to say, “I gotta tell you, “this is a hard hard hard season of my life.” Just to say it. Because life under the Son is stressful. It involves criticism. It is psychologically, emotionally fatiguing and worrisome but God, but God, who comforts the downcast comforted us by whisking us away into a beach side cave where mystically He came down and we ate quinoa. It’s not like that. It’s just not like that. It’s not like that.
View Full Resource
5 Resources for Helping Sexual Abuse Victims
A heartbreaking trend began recently on social media. In the wake of the abuse exposed in the entertainment industry, women across the globe started speaking out about the harassment and abuse that they too have endured.
Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are virtually overwhelmed with the hashtag #metoo, identifying people who have suffered at the hands of an abuser. As each high profile case hits the headlines, our hearts are burdened by the victim’s suffering and we long to help.
Over the years, IBCD has invited pastors and counselors to share with us how to speak the truth of God’s love tenderly to those who have been abused. The Word of God is a powerful comfort that rescues the weak and needy (Ps 82:1-4). We want you to know that these solid, biblical resources are now located together in one place and can be easily accessed as you seek to minister the love of God.
View Full Resource
030 Interview with Mark Shaw
Keynote speaker Mark Shaw works with Vision of Hope, a women’s residential program that deals with addictions, eating disorders, self-harm and unplanned pregnancies. This interview with Craig and Jim was recorded live at the 2017 Institute “Addictions: Grace for the Journey.”
View Full Resource
Finding Rest When There Isn’t Any part 1 {Transcript}
There is a time when faithful servants must rest, and they have a role to play, because after all, someone had to stay behind in the city, didn’t they, with the baggage? I think about those of us as we get older, we’re not able to physically able to do what we once did, and we wonder if being with the baggage is noble. And the answer from the shepherd king is yes. I declare it, as a way of being in the world for us, this is our rule. And I think about those of us who have known mental and emotional fatigue and disablement, and we wonder if we matter, and with the shepherd king, he says yes, you do. It is a way of being among us. In our organizational culture, this is our way. We will not fight one another. We will recognize each person’s role with the amount of work that they can do and the rest that they need. And then he says, all of us, join in this spoil, because God has done it.
Are you emotionally fatigued? It is ugly prayer that you need.
All the physical rest that you desire will not bring the rest you need if it’s emotional fatigue. It will help, it is important, but you’re going to have to ugly pray. Have you ever thought or noticed it like this, like I’ll think to myself in the fall, Midwestern fall, leaves turn different colors and things like that, we eat foods called chili, we watch football. And I’ll think to myself, if I just watch a football game, I’ll rest. And even if my team wins, the game ends, and I am not rested. Even if I laid there physically and did nothing and just put food in my mouth, not chili of course, that would be difficult, but you know, you know what I mean? It’s because whatever’s troubling me internally requires strengthening in the Lord through ugly prayer and there’s no way around it. No amount of video games for younger men, no amount of work in the yard, no amount of physical tinkering in the garage, no amount of taking a nap from the kids, no amount of whatever it is is going to do it, I must ugly pray.
View Full Resource
What is Domestic Abuse {Handout}
Some Things to Consider
- Power and control are at the hub of the wheel because they are at the center of violent relationships. Domestic violence is not caused by one or both parties being drunk, high, stressed out, or angry. Abusers want power and control over their victims and they will use any means they can to do so. (James 4:1-4)
- Each spoke of the wheel represents a category of abusive tactics, ranging from emotional abuse to economic abuse to use of children. Although every violent relationship is different, they share many of these tactics in common. (Luke 6:43-45)
- The rim of the wheel represents physical and sexual violence. Although some abusive relationships do not include the reality of physical and sexual violence, the threat is always there for the victim and the fear that goes along with that threat can be a powerful motivator for the victim to stay in the relationship.
“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25
View Full Resource
CDC1-07. How Do People Change? 1 {Transcript}
And as we read the pattern, especially in the New Testament, the Biblical pattern, the Bible typically begins with the indicative, that is what God has done for us in Christ as the ground for the imperative, and that is what we do as a result. And you see this most clearly in the epistles of Paul where, for example, in Ephesians, chapters one to three, are description of the gospel, what God has done for us in Christ. And it’s a magnificent description of the gospel. Then, chapters four to six, it’s okay, therefore, and then it’s our call to be united and to love, and to put off and to put off, and to work these things out in our families. Likewise in Colossians, the first two chapters are description of what God has done for us. And then, three and four, put that into application. And Machen, J. Gresham Machen, says “Christianity begins in the indicative, not what we do. What God has done provides the foundation for what we do.” And I’ve been fascinated as well, in Ephesians, for example, where typically people will say, “Oh, well, the first three chapters of Ephesians are the doctrinal part, and chapters four to six are the application part.”
But when you read the application parts, when you read the very practical parts, these, too, are founded in the gospel, after Paul had presented the gospel in chapters one to three, when he starts giving these commands, he keeps going back to the gospel. And when he begins the put off, put on section, how we should not walk as the gentiles walked in all of their sin, then he says, “But you did not learn Christ in this way.” So the way we are to walk is the way we learn Christ. That’s the gospel. In verse 24, “As we put on the new self and the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.” He’s talking about how this new self has been created by the new birth when we believe, when God made us alive, which he talked about in chapter two, in verse four, and likewise in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God and Christ has also forgiven you.” So even in the very practical section, he keeps going back to the fact, “How can I forgive?” It’s because God and Christ has forgiven me, it’s the gospel that enables me to do this.
View Full Resource
029 Interview with Ed Welch {Transcript}
Jim Newheiser:
I’d like to have a follow-up question, Ed, because sometimes ordinary counselors like ourselves, where they go, this is the guy that’s written all the books, he’s at CCEF, so probably all of his cases at least goes well as you just described. But I would guess that there might be some cases that don’t go as well, and how do you handle that?
Ed Welch:
That’s a nasty question, Jim.
Jim Newheiser:
But you said his questions were nice, and now mine is nasty.
Ed Welch:
Yeah. It’s … Yeah, that’s a great question. I have a drawer that I lock that has a lot of files in it from people that I’ve seen. I do different things with that file cabinet. One is sometimes I’ll call people, if I have a few extra minutes, people I haven’t seen for a couple of years I call just to see what’s happened, and more often than not, you see him who began this good work has continued it.
Yet, at the same time, there are a lot of files there where people I’ve seen once or twice and didn’t come back or people I saw for a longer period of time and they didn’t go back. It becomes an opportunity to pray for frankly lots of people. I couldn’t give you percentages of how that goes, but that’s certainly … I should say my particular counseling, there’s two different ways I do counseling. One is in the context of my church where it’s pursuing people, it’s having them over for a meal, it’s getting together for coffee, it’s getting together before church or after church. The other counseling is the actual more professional, people are paying. And you would think when people are paying to come, they would be fairly eager to really do something, and they’re coming to a Christian counseling center, but that’s not necessarily the case.
Going back to what I said before about how there’s probably not a day that goes by without me being encouraged by seeing the spirit and moving somebody’s life, there’s probably not a day that goes by without me being weighted down by a person who’s unmoved by the truth of Christ and persist typically in a habit of blaming everybody else around them.
View Full Resource
028 Interview with Chris Moles {Transcript}
Jim Newheiser:
I’m intrigued as well by you talking about batting average. And I’ll sometimes tell people that even one blade of grass on the moon is a miracle. And even one person like this transformed from a person of anger and judgment to becoming a person of grace and love is a miracle. So tell us in terms of what kind of positive results do you see? I don’t know if you have percentages? Or instances of … How have you seen this happen since a lot of us probably haven’t seen many cases where it’s happened?
Chris Moles:
So I think you’re going to look at a few different things. So let’s just do the statistical rubrics which don’t tell us a whole lot about the heart. But interventions, statistically, has a higher or I should say a lower rate of recidivism. So a man convicted of a crime who completes a course similar to ours in anything, even biblical or not, has a lower rate of recidivism. Even self-reflection helps the behavior.
But as far as transformation, that’s something that is observed over time. So one of the passages I like to use when I’m talking with pastors about this because one of the things in biblical counseling is that, I think, some of us have been pre-programmed to, “Well, if this takes longer than eight weeks, then it’s not worth my time.” And this type of work is not an eight week work.
I mean I tell pastors, when we’re doing consulting stuff, that we should plan for at least a year of work. That’s really a conservative estimate. Because I like to use Ephesians 4, the idea of, “When’s a liar no longer a liar? When’s a thief no longer a thief?” Paul communicates that, for instance with the thief, he’s no longer a thief when he has a job and he’s become generous. That doesn’t happen after a couple weeks of counseling, right? He’s got to build an income. He’s got to be demonstrative in his generosity so over time, people can see it. I think the same’s true in our work.
So we can look at recidivism and say, “Okay, it works that way.” We can look at behavior change and say, “Okay, he’s not as violent and people at home seem to be safe.” But the really filter has to be transformation. In order to see that, we have to watch over time, as you just said a second ago. Has he moved from a person of violence to a person of gentleness? Has he moved from a person who exercises privilege as a husband to somebody who exercises leadership as a husband? And that’s only going to be observable over time.
I think those are the marks of transformation, is giving him every opportunity to succeed and then holding him accountable when he doesn’t.
Jim Newheiser:
One problem I’ve seen in cases of angry and violent men is worldly sorrow too.
Chris Moles:
Right.
Jim Newheiser:
Where you get enough pressure and for a period of time, the behavior will change but it’s only the Spirit who can move someone from the deeds of the flesh to the fruit of the spirit.
Chris Moles:
That’s a good observation. So two things there. One as I’m doing training, I often talk about the pivot point of repentance. We tend to like that in the Church when someone says, “Yes, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” And we can be guilty of then dropping the ball there in saying, “Oh good, everything’s good.” But that’s just the turning point and we need this eventual, observable repentance, that fruit of repentance over time.
The second thing that I like to say is that pithy little statement, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.” And then I say, “But you can’t feed him crackers.” We can’t force anyone to do anything and that worldly sorrow can come by pressure along. But Godly sorrow comes only after a man is thirsty enough to see not just the how dastardly his choices were in the past, but how amazing the opportunity is in the future. And so I want to see men become so thirsty to be the type of man that God’s designed him to be that they abandon that old way and they embrace the new way. So yeah, that’s a wonderful observation.
And the key to that in many ways, is time and then avoiding hoops for an individual to jump through. So we don’t just want things to check off the list when we hold men accountable. We want concrete measurable, observable steps in spiritual development.
So yeah, he might be a Bible scholar now because he’s reading his Bible every day but is there a gap between that as practical theology? Evaluating that, and again guys, this comes back to how positioned biblical counselors are at this. We’ve been doing this with other things for so long. We’re really positioned to speak into this maybe better than any other field I know.
View Full Resource
029 Interview with Ed Welch
Ed Welch is a counselor and faculty member at the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF) and was our keynote speaker at the 2017 Institute “Addictions: Grace for the Journey.” In this interview with Craig and Jim, he explains how he views the intersection between shame and addiction and how to address it with counselees.t with counselees.
View Full Resource
CDC1-17. Fear {Transcript}
Psalm 23 is a good verse for fearing people, I’ve got an outline on that in your notes, I’ve got audios on that, to learn to trust God. That He cares for you as a shepherd. He’s the one who protects you. You can’t ultimately protect yourself. Those who are trusting God are characterized by boldness. Proverbs 28, the wicked flee when no one coming, pursuing, but the righteous are as bold as a lion. And when facing fears, especially OCD type fears, the critical question is what would God have me to do? I can’t, quite frankly, if God wants you out working, it’s safer to get out of the house than to be in defiance of God, watching TV all day. That safety is found in doing God’s will. There’s famous quotes by Stonewall Jackson, who said I feel as safe on the battlefield as I felt on my own bed. Now, there may have been a bit of unbiblical fatalism in some of what Stonewall Jackson said, but there’s also some truth in the sense that he had this trust in God that, for him, he was doing his duty. And if he’s doing his duty, he’s as safe as a man could be. Not to mention the fact that when the bullet finds me I’ll be with the Lord anyway. So safety is in doing the will of God.
Some people are fearful because of fear of imperfection. I may mess up, so I won’t even try. Yeah, you’re gonna mess up. Only God is perfect. You have to trust Him. Only God possesses certainty. Only God has absolute control. He is to be trusted. And that means you need to stop trusting in yourself. The Scripture says as we look to Him, then you will walk in your way securely and your foot will not stumble. When you lie down, you will not be afraid. When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Do not be afraid of sudden fear, nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught. That’s Proverbs, chapter three, verses 23 to 26.
View Full Resource
008 Q&A: Christ-like Leadership & Correction {Transcript}
Jim Newheiser:
We should go back to where it begins, study how Christ leads you and how Christ loves you, and the visual picture of Jesus washing the disciples feet is very important. Many men have a horrible misconception of what it is to lead, as if lead means I can be selfish and she can’t do anything about it that is anti-Christ-like. It’s a disgrace that men think that’s what Christian leadership is and it gives those of us who believe in a male headship and the wives submitting, gives us all a bad name that there are men out there who think leadership, “I’m the boss and everybody else has to do what I want.” Leadership is making sacrifices. Again, leadership is losing what is best to the glory of God, for the good of your family, not I get what I want. Again, that’s why needs to go spiritual that he has a passion for the glory of God.
Sometimes, leadership will be leading your family in a direction your wife may not take as a her first choice but you are not doing it because that’s what you want. You are doing it because that’s how you believe you can best serve God and serve your family, to make that concrete, maybe your wife would really love to have a new car of a certain kind but you believe based on Biblical principle it would be financially irresponsible to do so, you may have to deny her that. Maybe the church you think the family should be going to isn’t the one she does but you have reasons why doctrinally or practically you think this is the better option, what would be ungodly would be to say, “I’m going to buy myself the fancy new sports car and you are going to drive around in the piece of junk.” That’s what many men treat as leadership. Sometimes leadership is, as best I can tell, I need to do this. Again, the motivation is for the glory of God, to follow the scriptures, not an act of selfishness which is an anti-Christ-like act.
Craig Marshall:
A follow up related to this is, how can this husband help his wife understand that it’s not okay to belittle him in front of the children? It sounds like there is some criticism that’s coming out in front of the children, maybe in front of others. How do you deal with that lovingly as a husband?
Jim Newheiser:
The passages that come to mind are in Matthew 7 where Jesus says, “You need to get the log out of your own eye before you take the splinter out of your brother or your sister’s eye.” I would, if I were talking to that man I would ask him what are the log’s that you need to get out?” Jesus says, “When you’ve got the logs out, go get her splinter out as best as you can but what is she saying, even her criticism, even if she’s doing it in an ungodly way in front of the kids or in a sarcastic or unkind way, if there is truth, it’s between you and God and it’s sin and you need to do it with her. Maybe there are other issues that she’s not bringing up in front of the kids. First, repent before God then confess that to your wife and actually make a commitment as God helps you to change and then you can go to her. Matthew eighteen also gives an example, if your sister or your brothers stand against you, you first go to them.
Galatians 6 says you go gently for the purpose of restoring them. It’s not like I’ve had it with you criticizing me in front of the kids, and you criticize her back in front of the kids or you vent your anger to her privately so the kids hear you yelling through the door. It’s a matter of she has fallen into sin by doing this, probably she knows she’s sinning. If you come alongside and say, “I know I’ve sinned against you in these ways, I know that’s been very hard for you and I need your forgiveness.” I think you probably know you shouldn’t have done that in front of the kids. I would like you to ask you to forgive me for mine but also would you please in the future if you have a problem let’s talk privately and I admit that, I don’t know the details. There are a lot of situations, the wife says, should be, “I’ve been trying to tell him privately and I got so upset I couldn’t control myself.” For the spirit self-control that’s not an excuse but that is the way she lived it.
Have you been listening, have you tempted her to this? Then, you said, it, “I love you, I want our relationship to be better, I realize I’ve contributed to this and I want to forgive you,” to restore the relationship and not just to … One thing about the question is there is not really anything in the question that says, “This person sins,” their sin is being an important part of the problem.
View Full Resource
028 Interview with Chris Moles
Our keynote speaker Chris Moles sits down with Craig and Jim to discuss how he got into counseling domestic abuse cases and ministering to abusers. They also discuss his book, ͞The Heart of Domestic Abuse.͟ This interview was recorded live at the 2017 Institute “Addictions: Grace for the Journey.”
View Full Resource
Rebuilding a Marriage After an Affair part 2
In this two-part audio series, Wayne Mack discusses principles for recovering from an affair. He begins by discussing the nature of marriage and its relationship to Christianity as ‘heart’ religion. Wayne Mack also articulates how to properly confess an adulterous sin to a spouse. He then finishes by discussing 12 steps for rebuilding the marriage.
View Full Resource
Rebuilding a Marriage After an Affair part 1
In this two-part audio series, Wayne Mack discusses principles for recovering from an affair. He begins by discussing the nature of marriage and its relationship to Christianity as ‘heart’ religion. Wayne Mack also articulates how to properly confess an adulterous sin to a spouse. He then finishes by discussing 12 steps for rebuilding the marriage.
View Full Resource
¿Qué es la consejería bíblica 2?
View Full Resource
¿Qué es la consejería bíblica 1?
View Full Resource
Gracia para cuando las cosas son difíciles
Las pruebas son experiencias ordinarias para cristianos que viven en un mundo caído. Puedes confiar que Dios está obrando en tus pruebas y que usa las pruebas para ayudarte a crecer. Esta sesión te ayudará ver la bondad de Dios en tus pruebas.
View Full Resource
Aconsejando a aquellos que han perdido un cónyuge o un hijo
View Full Resource
Aconsejando a las víctimas de abuso
Las victimas de todos tipos de abuso necesitan ayuda para superar su situación en una manera bíblica. Esta sesión habla de aspectos de aconsejar a aquellos que han sufrido el abuso.
View Full Resource
Aconsejando a aquellos que abusan
El evangelio ofrece esperanza aún a los que han abusado a otra persona. Esta sesión habla de varios aspectos de aconsejar a aquellos que abusan.
View Full Resource
Palabras tiernas o palabras destructivas
Hay más que ciento cincuenta referencias en el libro de Proverbios que nos habla de nuestra manera de hablar. Esta sesión tendrá que ver no solo de lo que sale de nuestra boca, sino también de lo que se encuentra en nuestro corazón. A medida que nuestro corazón cambia, nuestra manera de hablar cambiará.
View Full Resource
Counterfeit Heavens: How Treasuring Our Eternal Home Invalidates Addiction’s Lies
Everyone of us is homesick. We’re all longing for our true Home in heaven with all the redeemed and the Lord Jesus Christ. Because we suffer with this homesickness, we try to fill the void with fleeting pleasures that become habitual and turn into addictions. The way out of addiction is to wait patiently for the joys that are to come, and to live in the hope of the promises of God: Jesus has gone on before us as a forerunner guaranteeing our safe arrival and complete satisfaction and joy.
View Full Resource
Pastoral Lessons from Dealing with Addictions
During 25 years of ministry, we have seen many struggle with addiction. We have made many mistakes, we have seen people abandon the faith, but we have also seen God rescue souls. This session will focus on pastoral lessons learned and will also feature the testimonies of some who repented and were restored.
View Full Resource
The Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Counseling
This workshop studies the Biblical concept of the Fear of the LORD. We will define the term, explore its centrality to discipleship counseling both for the counselor and counselee and discuss how to teach this as the core foundation of counseling.
View Full Resource
Addicted to Food (and/or Exercise)
While some people turn to drugs and alcohol to get high or to relieve stress, many turn to food which can be just as dangerous an idol as substance abuse. Other people are addicted to fitness to the extent that it becomes harmful to their lives and relationships. How can we overcome temptation to make an idol out of our food and our bodies?
View Full Resource
Counseling Controlling Husbands
In this session author Chris Moles will discuss the important factors involved in counseling controlling husbands.
View Full Resource
The Dangers of Self-Help Philosophies
This session provides a critique of Alcoholics Anonymous (& other self-help groups) and Celebrate Recovery. It seeks to identify how messages in these programs undermine the Word of God and op-pose the Gospel.
View Full Resource
Addicted to Shiny Things: Why & How to Find Freedom in the Age of the Internet
To say that we are addicted to our screens is axiomatic. As I wrote and researched this talk, I was in front of a screen. In this presentation, I will discuss a brief history of technologies, how they were received historically, how they changed the world for good and ill, and how pervasive this one is in our lives. I will talk about reasons to unplug (and levels of “unplugged-ness”) and ways to accom-plish that, all in the light of the gospel.
View Full Resource
The Necessity of Individualized Counseling
This workshop explores the dangers of mechanical counseling that oversimplifies by employing a one-size-fits-all approach to counseling. We will examine the necessity of applying the Word of God to the needs of the individual and his particular circumstances.
View Full Resource
Crafting Temptation and Repentance Plans to Help Addicts
Addressing temptation and practicing biblical repentance are two keys for counseling success in ministry to addicts. This workshop will aid counselors in creating specific biblical action plans for counselees to utilize when temptation arises or repentance is needed.
View Full Resource
Psychiatric Medication and Spiritual Depression
What does the Bible have to say about the use of medication to treat depression? What does the current medical literature say about the medical treatment of depression? This workshop will attempt to answer those questions from a medical and biblical counseling viewpoint.
View Full Resource
Substance Abuse and Domestic Violence
Substance abuse is often a factor in situations of domestic violence. In this session author Chris Moles will help counselors learn to deal with situations like these.
View Full Resource
Helping Family Members
Families of addicts often need help as much as the addicts themselves. This session gives biblical passages and practical help for counseling the families of addicts. It also discusses how idolatry im-pacts the family, how enabling hurts rather than helps, and what can be seen when an addict truly repents.
View Full Resource
Gospel Hope for Instant Gratification Junkies
Instant gratification junkies are hooked on immediate satisfaction at any cost. This trap can make you susceptible to addictions, anger, jealousy, and negative impulsive behaviors. The pursuit of instant gratification has detrimental effects on your Christian walk. When there is a problem, you want God to fix things quickly. When He does not, you take matters into your own hands making the situation ultimately worse. This seminar will expose the heart issues of instant gratification and will show how the gospel can help you escape the instant gratification trap.
View Full Resource
Medicine and Biblical Sufficiency
Biblical Counseling has been shaped by the doctrine of sufficiency. We will examine how that doc-trine and the science of medicine interact when we encounter those with worry, depression, OCD, and other emotional struggles. Can the Bible help when we counsel those with medical emotional labels?
View Full Resource
Addictions and the Discouraged Counselor
All counselors struggle at times with discouragement in counseling, particularly in harder cases like addictions. This workshop will offer biblical hope and encouragement to the discouraged counselor in need of spiritual refreshment.
View Full Resource
Self-Harm
Learn how to offer hope in your biblical counsel of self-injurers by treating it as sinful heart issue rather than mental illness.
View Full Resource
Lies: Believing Them and Telling Them
A neglected biblical theme for addiction is the movement from lies to truth, and from the Liar to the Truth. Our job is to do whatever we can to invite strugglers to be open and honest.
View Full Resource
Living with an Angry Husband
Some women live with husbands who routinely express anger in its many forms. The Bible gives direction on this subject. Counselors will be taught how to help these women respond biblically to their husbands.
View Full Resource
The Attributes of a Christ-like Counselor
This workshop explores the attributes of Jesus, the Wonderful Counselor and the Holy Spirit, the Other Counselor. We will examine what makes them the competent counselors that they are. Also, we will examine how these attributes must be and can be in your counsel. Finally, we will learn how you can develop these attributes.
View Full Resource
Basic Principles, Procedures, and Strategies for Counseling Addictions
Addiction cases can be some of the most complicated cases in counseling ministry. This workshop will present a toolbox of biblical principles applied to various aspects of counseling those struggling with addictions.
View Full Resource
Overcoming Abusive Speech
The Bible teaches that words can be as destructive (or abusive) as fists. Every time we open our mouths we are either promoting God’s kingdom by building others up or we are extending the realm of the Evil One by tearing others down. How can our sinful tongues be tamed?
View Full Resource
Relapse Prevention
When an “addict” repents, you will know it. Learn how to identify the fruit of repentance found only in an abiding relationship with Christ.
View Full Resource
Hear the Addict’s Story, Retell the Addict’s Story
Our help comes in two parts: knowing a person’s story and knowing Scripture’s retelling of their story. Both are essential. In this session you will learn to really listen to your counselees and then help them reshape their stories from a biblical perspective.
View Full Resource
Helping People Come to the God who Satisfies
All addicts are seeking a satisfaction in something that will never truly satisfy them. In this session Dr. Jim Newheiser will discuss the need to lead addicts to the God who satisfies.
View Full Resource
How the Physiology of Addiction Complicates Counseling
Counseling those who struggle with substance abuse is a challenging problem in our society. We will discuss how addictive drugs affect the brain and how that may complicate counseling from a Biblical perspective.
View Full Resource
Understanding Temptation: The War Within Your Heart
Identify three idolatrous heart issues in all people. Find out how these desires connect our flesh with the temptations of the world’s system and the devil. Topic helps counselor work with any counselee, especially the addicted.
View Full Resource
Biblical Insights into Addiction
Gain insight into the heart of an addict to learn how to competently counseling someone struggling with addiction through an exposition of Proverbs 23:29-35.
View Full Resource
To Be Human is to Say “No”: A Biblical History of Temptation
Self-control is not a popular teaching, and we can offer it in ways that are not inviting. Our task is to learn it in a way that we find it attractive and can make it attractive and compelling to others.
View Full Resource
Every Addict Lives with Shame
Listen to addicts and you will hear shame, shame that preceded the addiction and shame that resulted from the addiction. And here, in their shame, they can hear some of the most beautiful words they could possibly hear.