Episodes

The Care & Discipleship Podcast exists to cultivate a resource for the church that addresses practical, current issues regarding biblical counseling. Episodes contain a variety of formats including conversations with IBCD counselors, interviews with speakers, and even recordings with a live audience. Never miss an episode by subscribing with your preferred podcast app. You can also Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to keep informed about future releases. We love to hear from you, so submit your questions or comments and we’ll try to address them in a future podcast.

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020 Counseling Cases of Domestic Abuse

To close out season 2 of the Care & Discipleship Podcast, Craig Marshall sat down with Jim Newheiser (Director of Biblical Counseling at RTS Charlotte) and Tom Maxham (pastor of Grace Bible Church, Escondido and staff counselor at IBCD) to discuss the tenuous situation of dealing with domestic abuse when counseling a couple. This episode is a response to a listener question and addresses a very relevant issue in the church today. The counselors discuss how to respond not only to physical abuse but also how to think through verbal and emotional abuse. They detail the various ways in which churches tend to make mistakes regarding verbal and emotional abuse and articulate a proper response.  They also engage with the book The Heart of Domestic Abuse written by Chris Moles who will be speaking on the issue at the 2017 Summer Institute and Pre-Conference.

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019 Interview with Aaron & Ellie part 2

This Fall we released our 6th observation video featuring Dr. Charles Hodges counseling a couple struggling with the complexities of Bipolar Disorder. Recently, our host Craig Marshall sat down with the real-life Aaron and Ellie to talk about the experiences that have given them a unique perspective on this particular medical diagnoses. Listen in as they continue their discussion and hear their real-life stories about dealing with Bipolar Disorder and the people who “try” to help. Their hope is for these videos to further the conversation about this and other medical diagnoses and give people a framework for caring for families with similar struggles. This is the second episode of a 2-part interview with “Aaron & Ellie.”  You can listen to Part 1 here.

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018 Interview with Aaron & Ellie part 1

This Fall we released our 6th observation video featuring Dr. Charles Hodges counseling a couple struggling with the complexities of Bipolar Disorder. Recently, our host Craig Marshall sat down with the real-life Aaron and Ellie to talk about the experiences that have given them a unique perspective on this particular medical diagnoses. They also offer practical advice for how Christians can come alongside individuals and the families of those with similar struggles. This is the first episode of a 2-part interview with “Aaron & Ellie.”

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017 Interview with Debbie Dewart

This interview was recorded live on-site at the 2016 IBCD Summer Institute entitled Disordered Desires: Bringing Grace to Modern Sexuality. Our guest Debbie Dewart spoke at the conference on effectively ministering in a world with a rapidly changing legal landscape. In this episode host David Wojnicki talks with Debbie about her choice to pursue both law and seminary degrees, including how those two worlds overlap in her work as an attorney writing briefs for the Supreme Court. They also discuss the need for churches to be aware of various laws and how they can work to protect themselves and their ministries from possible litigation.

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016 Interview with the Scipiones

This interview was recorded live on-site at the 2016 IBCD Summer Institute entitled Disordered Desires: Bringing Grace to Modern Sexuality. Our guests George and Eileen Scipione recount how they found each other at the beginning of the biblical counseling movement, share their unique perspective on developing the role of the female counselor and offer advice and wisdom gleaned from 45 years of marriage. George is the founder and former Director of IBCD (formerly CCEF West). He currently serves as Director of the Biblical Counseling Institute for Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary in Pittsburgh, PA.

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Transcripts

008 Q&A: Christ-like Leadership & Correction {Transcript}

Jim Newheiser:
We should go back to where it begins, study how Christ leads you and how Christ loves you, and the visual picture of Jesus washing the disciples feet is very important. Many men have a horrible misconception of what it is to lead, as if lead means I can be selfish and she can’t do anything about it that is anti-Christ-like. It’s a disgrace that men think that’s what Christian leadership is and it gives those of us who believe in a male headship and the wives submitting, gives us all a bad name that there are men out there who think leadership, “I’m the boss and everybody else has to do what I want.” Leadership is making sacrifices. Again, leadership is losing what is best to the glory of God, for the good of your family, not I get what I want. Again, that’s why needs to go spiritual that he has a passion for the glory of God.

Sometimes, leadership will be leading your family in a direction your wife may not take as a her first choice but you are not doing it because that’s what you want. You are doing it because that’s how you believe you can best serve God and serve your family, to make that concrete, maybe your wife would really love to have a new car of a certain kind but you believe based on Biblical principle it would be financially irresponsible to do so, you may have to deny her that. Maybe the church you think the family should be going to isn’t the one she does but you have reasons why doctrinally or practically you think this is the better option, what would be ungodly would be to say, “I’m going to buy myself the fancy new sports car and you are going to drive around in the piece of junk.” That’s what many men treat as leadership. Sometimes leadership is, as best I can tell, I need to do this. Again, the motivation is for the glory of God, to follow the scriptures, not an act of selfishness which is an anti-Christ-like act.

Craig Marshall:
A follow up related to this is, how can this husband help his wife understand that it’s not okay to belittle him in front of the children? It sounds like there is some criticism that’s coming out in front of the children, maybe in front of others. How do you deal with that lovingly as a husband?

Jim Newheiser:
The passages that come to mind are in Matthew 7 where Jesus says, “You need to get the log out of your own eye before you take the splinter out of your brother or your sister’s eye.” I would, if I were talking to that man I would ask him what are the log’s that you need to get out?” Jesus says, “When you’ve got the logs out, go get her splinter out as best as you can but what is she saying, even her criticism, even if she’s doing it in an ungodly way in front of the kids or in a sarcastic or unkind way, if there is truth, it’s between you and God and it’s sin and you need to do it with her. Maybe there are other issues that she’s not bringing up in front of the kids. First, repent before God then confess that to your wife and actually make a commitment as God helps you to change and then you can go to her. Matthew eighteen also gives an example, if your sister or your brothers stand against you, you first go to them.

Galatians 6 says you go gently for the purpose of restoring them. It’s not like I’ve had it with you criticizing me in front of the kids, and you criticize her back in front of the kids or you vent your anger to her privately so the kids hear you yelling through the door. It’s a matter of she has fallen into sin by doing this, probably she knows she’s sinning. If you come alongside and say, “I know I’ve sinned against you in these ways, I know that’s been very hard for you and I need your forgiveness.” I think you probably know you shouldn’t have done that in front of the kids. I would like you to ask you to forgive me for mine but also would you please in the future if you have a problem let’s talk privately and I admit that, I don’t know the details. There are a lot of situations, the wife says, should be, “I’ve been trying to tell him privately and I got so upset I couldn’t control myself.” For the spirit self-control that’s not an excuse but that is the way she lived it.

Have you been listening, have you tempted her to this? Then, you said, it, “I love you, I want our relationship to be better, I realize I’ve contributed to this and I want to forgive you,” to restore the relationship and not just to … One thing about the question is there is not really anything in the question that says, “This person sins,” their sin is being an important part of the problem.

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019 Interview with Aaron & Ellie part 2 {Transcript}

Craig Marshall:
Yeah, part of my goal has been with this has been that people would watch this and see these struggles, they’d get a little better grasp on how the scriptures can relate to them, and then also how the Lord can use his people to take what we know and move towards those who are struggling and walk with them in the midst of it rather than having to either push them aside or think it just needs to be fixed, but to see this huge place to enter in with it. That’s the beauty of the church when we are shouldering the load together. The Lord’s glorified in amazing ways.

Ellie, any thoughts for you on this project and what would be helpful?

Ellie:
Yeah, I think you said it really well that I’m hoping that this project really starts the dialog. I think everyone wants to be able to help people and having an answer for them is … You feel really helpful when you can provide an answer and list off and those easy answers are pat answers that just might not work in all situations. I think that these videos have done a good job of confirming that it is a medical diagnosis, that it’s not just something that is maybe a spiritual condition that just needs fixing with prayer. While we all definitely need to pray and there’s all spiritual issues connected with it, there’s other medical issues that go along with it.

I hope that within the church, within the church community, the idea of shying away from people with mental illness or shying away from the topic … Maybe not the people themselves, but just the topic of psychology or mental illness. I hope that these videos help start that dialog that there is actual medical conditions, it’s a very complicated situation on all levels for the individual involved as well as the people around it. I’m really hopeful that these videos will do something like that.

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018 Interview with Aaron & Ellie part 1 {Transcript}

Craig Marshall:
It seems like there could kind of be one of two extremes that probably aren’t helpful. Sometimes in the church it could be, “This is different,” and we stay away. Then there can be this naïve just jumping in of just listening to the person, not checking with the family, not realizing the depth of probably what’s going on and starting to come to understand some of the complexities of this, for sure.

Aaron:
Right. It’s very complex. For somebody to say, “Oh, I want to help you.” In some sense, you really got to know what you’re even … Just educate yourself and even just whether or not you can actually have the time to help. What’s really interesting I feel like with a lot of mental health cases is that my mom is convinced that she’s doing a lot of what she’s doing because she wants to help us. Her attention is on us and her attention is on other people, and she’s trying to help other people. But she fails to realize that if she really helps herself then she’s helping the whole family. A lot of times, too, it’s understanding that their intentions in their heads, they’re really good intentions. It’s just learning how to communicate with them and navigate through them and bring them back to what is reality, I guess.

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Videos

035 Interview with Keith Palmer {Clip 3 | 1:02}

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You don’t have to have a counseling center to be effective in your community. In fact, you know, I would argue from scripture that it’s you know, as you go you’re preaching the gospel so you know, the church is gathering together to be equipped, to be encouraged, and then we disperse, right? We go to our work places, we go to our schools, we go to our neighborhoods. That one-on-one ministry, where now we have some equipping to be able to address some of those life issues, you know I think as a pastor I’m thinking I want the average person at our church to be able to you know, talking to their neighbor next door that evening and a life issue comes up. You know, a teenager that’s addicted to something, or you know, they’re having marriage problems. I would hope that a believer at that point wouldn’t say, “Well hey, let’s go to our community counseling ministry,” although they could do that, but that they would engage them wisely and in a loving way from the scriptures to give them gospel hope in that moment.

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