“God, I’ll give you one last chance.”
Those were my own words as a teenager losing my faith in God. Although my loving parents had raised me in the church, I began to wrestle with the faith I had known my entire life. I chiseled away at my beliefs and even questioned if the Bible was true. I became angry at God, my parents, and others in the church who held to such blind faith. After this difficult season, I was ready to walk away for good if God could not answer my demands.
Perhaps today, you know someone who is losing their faith in God (often described as deconstruction). Let me encourage you to approach them with grace as you ask the Lord for wisdom (James 1:5–6). You might be the person God uses to strengthen their faith in the midst of trials. In doing so, consider some counsel from the Scriptures.
Cling to the Rock
Christ and his Word are the solid foundation to help us weather the storms of life (Matthew 7:24-27). Deconstruction tempts us to completely sledgehammer our faith and to trust our feelings for life’s many decisions. Yet such folly goes all the way back to the fall: “Did God actually say?” (Genesis 3:1). It deceives us into thinking that we know better than God—that it’s more authentic to demolish our whole foundation if we want to honestly examine our faith. It’s true that Christians should always be growing, changing into Christlikeness, and reforming our views according to God’s Word. Yet our foundation still matters. It is meant to be built upon, not destroyed entirely. Far wiser, then, to test our foundation while it’s still in place instead of trading it for shifting sand. As you spend time with those who doubt, invite them to ask their most challenging questions while still clinging to the Rock of Christ and his Word.
Examine Heart Motives
Deconstruction arises from our heart’s desires, so we can often trace it back to wanting what we want when we want it (Proverbs 4:23). Many begin to doubt when God seems absent in times of personal suffering (Psalm 73). Others are people-pleasers who abandon the faith when it means they can’t be like the crowd (John 12:43). Some, like Demas, depart from Christ because they love the world too much (2 Timothy 4:10). And like my teenage self, most doubters arrogantly think we are wiser than God (1 Corinthians 1:21–25). Our heart’s desires are the key to understanding deconstruction. So as you minister the gospel to those who are losing their faith, help them to examine their own heart motives. Ask good questions and listen well. We never lose our faith because God is faithless, but because we have placed our faith in lesser gods (Jeremiah 2:13; 2 Timothy 2:13).
Behold Christ Jesus
Most importantly, teach one another to behold Christ Jesus as we become more like him (1 John 3:1–3). Meditate on the person of Christ as he reflects “the radiance” of his Father’s glory (Hebrews 1:3). Look to his perfect example as we grow in godliness by his sanctifying grace (1 Peter 2:21–25). Receive his good gifts of strength in weakness, wisdom in confusing times, and humility in a self-absorbed world (James 1:2–18). Trust him to speak on our behalf as we enter confidently into the Father’s presence (Hebrews 4:14–16). Know that he is more than enough as he promises “every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 1:3). Then, rest in his portion secured for all eternity—our everlasting hope in the life to come (Psalm 16:5–6). Beholding Christ Jesus changes our perspective when we are tempted to deconstruct our faith. For those who behold the glory of the Lord “are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another” (2 Corinthians 3:18).
Begin Rebuilding
Reconstruction is a work of God who helps the righteous when we fall (Proverbs 24:16). Though we lament, “How long, O Lord?”, God’s people remind us, “I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation” (Psalm 13:1–5). God uses wise friends to offer good counsel. He surrounds us with mature believers in a healthy church who not only care for souls, but also have the skill to help us grow and change (Hebrews 10:24–25). Deconstruction happens in a bubble, while healing involves intentional community (Romans 12:9–21). So when you see someone taking a sledgehammer to their faith, lovingly intervene before they demolish their entire foundation. Help them to examine their heart motives, then direct them to the beauty and glories of Christ. Rebuilding takes time and trust in the One who created the universe and who loves each one of us. God alone possesses certainty about the truth he has revealed, so let us test everything according to his Word as we persevere in doing it (James 1:22–25).
Conclusion
“God, I’ll give you one last chance.”
The words echoed in my mind as my soccer coach shared about a recent miscarriage he and his wife had suffered. With raw honesty, he expressed their grief as they named their child and prayed over the tiny casket. Their testimony to God’s faithfulness overwhelmed me with their persistent trust in Christ. That night, I told the Lord, “I don’t have that kind of faith, but I want it.” Then, God answered my prayer—not by removing all my doubts, but by strengthening my faith in him. He met me in the darkest season of my life and has continued to lead me every step of the way.
I pray that you also will encourage those who are losing their faith in God. May the Lord grant you his wisdom and grace as you help them to rebuild.
***This article is based on Tom’s mini-book, Help! I’m Losing My Faith in God (Shepherd Press, 2026). For personal growth projects, visit https://lifelineforteens.com/book/help-im-losing-my-faith-in-god.
