She sits, puts her phone face-down on the table, and says she's here for help with her anxiety. She tells me that her chest gets tight on Sunday nights as she lies awake doing math on her own life—the friend who bought another house, the sister who's pregnant again,...
Jerry Bridges wrote, “We must not allow our emotions to hold sway over our minds. Rather, we must seek to let the truth of God rule our minds. Our emotions must become subservient to the truth.”[1] When counseling and discipling in the local church, it’s not uncommon...
I speak regularly with Christian women who are wading through some measure of sorrow or suffering in their lives. Sometimes these sisters are navigating heartbreak and discouragement. Other times, they feel disillusioned because their knowledge of God doesn’t appear...
“God, I’ll give you one last chance.” Those were my own words as a teenager losing my faith in God. Although my loving parents had raised me in the church, I began to wrestle with the faith I had known my entire life. I chiseled away at my beliefs and even questioned...
“It’s not just that I’m angry,” one counselee told me. “I feel like I lost my family.” That sentence captures a painful reality about church hurt. In After Church Hurt, I define church hurt as “any unrepentant sin that is minimized, normalized, or protected by a...
When people seek counsel for various issues, emotions of some sort are frequently front and center—the person has an “anger problem,” is depressed, fearful, or anxious. Someone has been offended greatly and wants to forgive, but just doesn’t feel that she can forgive....
Because of recent events, there has been a lot written about the topic of depression and suicide, much of which has been very critical of churches and biblical counselors. We have a friend who has been engaged in a long-term heroic struggle with depression that has...
Among the pool of articles covering tragic topics like suicide, addiction, and miscarriage, the topic of perfectionism doesn’t seem so bad. In fact, you may be asking yourself, “what’s so bad about trying to be perfect anyways?” Counselors must be aware that...
All Christians deal with anxious moments of all kinds. Recently, my anxiety has stemmed from procedures I needed to undergo in order to treat my cancer. I have been fearful more than once about the physical ramifications of the treatments my doctor prescribed. I know...
Worry comes all too easily and naturally to most of us, especially as it regards financial matters. You hear a rumor that layoffs are imminent, and you wonder whether you could get a new job at your age. When money is already tight, your daughter needs orthodontic...
For over four decades now, IBCD has existed to “strengthen local churches in one another care.” And as we navigate our fifth decade, the primacy of the local church in our mission has not wavered. There are many different counseling ministries that equip and train...
What comprises a biblical view of sorrow? Perhaps some of the Scriptures that come to mind in soul care ministry are Paul’s references to worldly and godly sorrow in 2 Corinthians 7. There, he speaks of a guilt-induced heaviness of the heart that stems from sin and is...
Samantha jolted awake at 3 a.m., heart racing, mind spinning through every “what if”: What if the anxiety never stops? What if tomorrow falls apart? What if something catastrophic happens? Her body tensed, her thoughts collided, and for a moment, she felt trapped in...
What are the inward heart motivations of overcommitted, overwhelmed people? Why do we allow others to control us and use us? The Bible gives us insight into the root of the problem when it says, “The fear of man lays a snare” (Proverbs 29:25a). What is happening in...
You probably have heard the quip, “Ministry is messy.” How true it is. As we serve within the family of God, we have a front row seat to the sins, weaknesses, and heartaches of others. But often, it’s our own failings and limitations that come into sharper focus as we...
The experience of being rejected, and the emotional and relational pain which often accompanies it, is universal. We all experience rejection, and we all know how much it hurts. Being in close relationships with others is risky and makes us vulnerable. And yet, given...
Tiredness and weariness are not the same. Tiredness signals that the body needs rest, which is expected and often resolved with sleep or a break. Weariness, however, runs deeper. It lingers even after we have had physical rest and lingers within the heart and soul....
When my nine-year-old daughter learned I was working on a mini-book for depressed postpartum mothers, a look of confusion came over her face. She asked, “Why would a mom feel sad after having a baby? Isn’t that something to be happy about?” My youngest child’s...
It’s much too easy to be discontent. It may be with material possessions, employment, relationships, where we live, or a number of other things with which we are discontent. Perhaps we compare ourselves with others and always fall short, becoming envious or jealous in...
Criticism hurts. It leaves more bruises than “sticks and stones” and it cuts our fellow man one sword-thrust at a time (Prov. 12:18). Harsh words can hurt because life and death are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:12). And sadly, our criticism is rarely kind,...
The Hebrews were not the only ones in the ancient world who appreciated and collected wise sayings. Israel’s neighboring nations also obtained knowledge and valued wisdom in a certain sense. In 1 Kings 4, we observe how the wisdom of King Solomon was compared to that...
"When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. . . . Jesus wept." John 11:33, 35 God is not put off by your grief. The shortest verse in the Bible is proof. “Jesus wept.” If Jesus...
Pamela feels her heart flutter suddenly. Then, perspiration runs down her face. She feels dizzy and worries, “Oh no, oh no, oh no, what’s happening?” In a flash, her worry turns to paralyzing panic, and she speed-dials her husband. “I think I’m having a heart attack,”...
The holidays are a time of family gatherings to which most people look forward with joyful anticipation. For some, however, the holidays are filled with interpersonal tension. Difficult relationships can come in many forms but oftentimes they are connected to in-laws....
For the past several years, a counseling burden we’ve seen increase is “church hurt.” By church hurt, I’m referring to any unrepentant sin that is minimized, normalized, or possibly promoted by a church community and/or a church’s leadership. At first, I didn’t like...
What comes to mind when you hear the phrase “biblical counseling”? It’s a phrase that’s been used for over half-a-century now. And in that time, it’s come to mean different things to different people. Some people consider biblical counseling to be a codeword that...
In an era when many are choosing not to have children, believers stand out as those who choose to fulfill the creation mandate to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28). When many see children as expensive inconveniences, we regard our children to be a blessing from...
Bill has stopped going to church. It’s his dementia. Not only does he feel isolated in a crowd due to his inability to remember and communicate well, the loudness of the congregational singing—acceptable by most standards—sounds dissonant and upsets him. Disappointed,...
Many Christian men know they have a God-given responsibility to lead family worship. They remember how God called Abraham to “command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord” (Gen. 18:19). They’re aware that Moses instructs fathers to...
To say that our world is confused about sex is a dramatic understatement. You don’t need an anecdote or statistic. You face the reality of it every day. And, unfortunately, this confusion isn’t only “out there” in the world, but it also has dramatic effects in both...
As I walked out of the grocery store with a cart full of groceries, a freezing winter wind cut through my jacket. The late-afternoon sky was dark grey, and an icy snow was falling. As I approached the car, my exhaustion seemed overwhelming. I’d been struggling through...
The Holy Spirit brings us assurance as we meditate on the love Jesus shows for sinners. I'm not referring to his former demonstration of love, which he showed by dying in our place, but to his perpetual love in there here and now. Jesus is not only our Lord and Savior...
Parenting is hard. And it seems to get harder every year our children grow up. In the 1985 classic, Teen Wolf, Michael J. Fox plays a young man who transforms into a werewolf at inopportune moments. The results are sometimes awkward and mostly humorous, while making...
“There’s a lot of talk about how to lament these days, but what do we do after—what comes next?” My friend’s question was intriguing. He was right to identify the need for extended reflection. After all, the moments following lament are just as important as the...
In February 2020, IBCD launched the Hope + Help Podcast in an effort to host approachable biblical conversations about life's challenging problems. Since its inception, the show has been streamed nearly 275,000 times worldwide. We're thankful to the many guests who...
One day, I found myself seated on the bedroom floor, tears streaming down my face as I stared at divorce papers. The realization hit hard—I was now a divorced Christian and a single mother. The weight of embarrassment and shame kept me from facing my church community....
I find that many Christians get uncomfortable when talking about God and healing. To discuss God bringing physical healing raises controversial questions about spiritual gifts. To discuss emotional healing seems to reflect a concept created by modern psychology, and...
God is never the source of temptation to sin. Instead, the cycle begins with strong desires in our hearts. So perhaps you’re wondering if the devil is involved at all. Yes, he is. Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in...
What did you expect when you found yourself expecting?* Years ago, I imagined motherhood would be full of joyous milestones and memorable moments. What I didn’t expect was so much hurt, heartbreak, conflict, and disappointment. I’ve often felt clueless and incapable....
Motherhood is a rollercoaster ride! It is filled with the ups and downs of heartwarming moments and challenging twists and turns. Yet for anxious moms, this rollercoaster ride can turn them upside down and fill them with anxiety. Amidst the joys of raising children,...
What comes to mind when you hear the term “abuse”? Maybe you imagine crime scenes, physical violence, or torture. Perhaps just the sight of this word causes your radar to go up because it seems to be so overused and underdefined. My hope with this blog is to bring...
Relationships with people are a sweet gift our Father entrusts to us. Through friendships, siblings, spouses, children, neighbors, and mentors we can experience love, encouragement, being known, and helped in our lives as we work out our salvation and grow up into...
Your roommate doesn’t come home when they said they were going to come home, and you worry. You hear rumors about a merger at your company and wonder what it will mean for your job, and you worry. You imagine all the things that could happen to your child while...
“Woke” is a dirty word these days which can make us throw our biblical principles out the window. The ultra-conservatives spit out this four-letter word to silence any who “defend the rights of the poor and needy” (Proverbs 31:8–9). The ultra-progressives wear it as a...
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” are words written by the Apostle John in his third epistle. While John is addressing his spiritual children, these words resonate with parents who see their children walking faithfully with...
As a pastor, I have seen divorce tear families apart and I have ached with the abused. I’ve seen close friends commit betrayal or turn their backs on each other. These broken relationships leave many feeling abandoned and alone. So, how can the church compassionately...
In addition to counseling within my local church for over forty years, I have been involved in biblical counseling ministry to people outside of the church since 1993. While the Lord uses counseling ministries for good, one danger of relying upon outside counselors is...
In February 2020, IBCD launched the Hope + Help Podcast in an effort to host approachable biblical conversations about life's challenging problems. Since its inception, the show has been streamed nearly 175,000 times in 50 different countries. We're thankful to the...
The grace of God has appeared, . . . training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives. (Titus 2:11–12) The Billy Graham Library is about a thirty-minute car ride from my (Caroline’s) home, and it’s become...
It has been my privilege to participate in the training of biblical counselors for the past twenty years. Many students enthusiastically embrace biblical counseling theory in the classroom, but then have trouble when they practice counseling in fictitious role play...
In February 2020, IBCD launched the Hope + Help Podcast in an effort to host accessible, biblical conversations about life's challenging problems. Since its launch, the show has been streamed nearly 114,000 times in 50 different countries. We're thankful to the many...
by Nate Brooks Some books take courage to write. I suppose every author has a certain degree of courage as they set ideas in stone and allow others to evaluate and critique them. But some topics are more fraught with confusion and trouble than others. Christine...
As a biblical counselor, one of my passions is to point my counselees to helpful biblical resources related to their struggles. Long after our one-on-one conversations are over, I want them to have tools in their hands for continued growth. An issue carries special...
Abuse is a sad reminder that God’s kingdom has not yet fully arrived. We know Christ has conquered sin and death, yet we are left with the emotions and consequences of other people's sin. Healing from past victimization is really difficult. But not impossible....
Author Jim Newheiser considers God’s wisdom about money by addressing three common money myths which could potentially lead people astray: 1.) Is Money the Secret to Happiness in This Life? The most common money myth among non-Christians is that money is the...
One question some might raise is, “Why do we need another book about money?” Dave Ramsey has built an empire with his radio show, bestselling books and seminars. He has created a curriculum which is being used in many evangelical churches. He even has a network of...
If you have been involved in domestic abuse intervention for any length of time, you have already felt the weight of this difficult ministry[1]. Whether you are counseling and caring for victims of abuse or confronting perpetrators and providing accountability...
Missionaries experience some of the most difficult circumstances a person can face, and they often do it alone. It’s difficult enough to face miscarriages, panic attacks, and conflict with teammates when you have a community of people to encourage you. It’s...
An email lies in wait in the inbox. A quiet request is made for help in the middle of the sanctuary. A text bubble pops up. The small point of contact that begins a counseling case can quickly ripen into knowing far more about particular situations in a...
As pastors, you tend to push yourself. After all, your demands are many and, often times, immediate. It takes a great deal of time to study and prepare for your Sunday sermon and it’s something that you need to do every single week. Add to that, perhaps, a...
“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as...
The Hope + Help Podcast is a great addition to the IBCD family. Christine is a wonderful host who draws wisdom from leaders within the Biblical counseling movement to provide her listeners with content that is both scriptural and practical. This podcast is a...
While the truths of the gospel are essential for every believer, they are uniquely profound for victims of domestic abuse. Abuse of any kind is life altering and tends to be identity shaping. Thankfully, the gospel speaks to our deepest questions of who we are...
In a world hard fallen under the curse of sin (Gen. 3, Rom. 8:20-22), occupied by “cosmic powers over this present darkness” and “spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Eph. 6:12), Christians are called to “keep alert” (Eph. 6:18). Rather than be...
During the COVID crisis, restrictions have been put in place which have sometimes kept people apart for the purpose of safety. For counseling cases in which there has been marital abuse the victim often must be separated from the abuser for the sake of safety....
“I love my husband and desire a godly marriage, but over the years I’ve been worn down under the weight of my husband’s constant criticism, anger, harsh words, and control. I live like a child in my own home, with almost no voice and little decision-making...
Do you remember playing the game Battleship when you were a kid? You would try to discover where your opponent had stationed his ships on a grid representing the ocean so you could shoot and sink them. One shot, however, wouldn’t sink a battleship. Some ships...
Navigating Fear and Anxiety in the Age of Covid Fear, stress, anxiety, worry…call it whatever you want, it’s everywhere right now. There’s nothing like a global pandemic, a government-imposed shutdown, record levels of unemployment, and civil unrest to bring...
by Dr. Jim Newheiser During the past twenty years of working in a church-based biblical counseling ministry, in which I have tried to put these principles for change into practice, I have observed three general outcomes. Some counselees are quickly and radically...
by Chelsey Gordon One afternoon as I rushed my crew through the aisles of Aldi, hoping to get in and out without a small child throwing a tantrum or requiring a bathroom break, my two-year-old looked up at me from the front of the cart with a grin. “Momma?” she asked....
All marriages face disagreements. All Christian couples should agree that marriage sanctifies. Dave Harvey titled his popular book, “When Sinners Say I Do,” cleverly encapsulating the reality of each spouse’s condition. Because we’re sinners, it is wise to cultivate...
by Scott Mehl This is a particularly intense season in the world for all of us, and biblical counselors are no exception. In fact, as biblical counselors, the recent increases in anxiety, fear, anger, and marital conflict probably have us busier than ever. I know...
by Greg E. Gifford, PhD Every counseling session has a goal. If you’re meeting with a counselee for the first time, you are seeking to gain a trusting relationship, instill hope, and gather data. However, if this is your twelfth time meeting with a counselee, you are...
As dark as life gets when you lose someone to suicide, you can truly experience hope. You may have serious doubts today, and wonder how you can possibly go on, but you will survive. Your life will never be the same—that is true. Fellow survivor Albert Hsu wrote, Those...
Many Christian parents lack confidence in their biblical knowledge or feel ill equipped to correctly answer their child’s theological questions. These parents rightly desire to grow in knowledge and discernment (Philippians 1:9-10) and to be ready to give an answer...
I once heard Sam Crabtree, who wrote one of my favorite books “Practicing Affirmation”, say that he had thought of writing a follow-up volume about “Practicing Correction”. But he said that if he did so, it would need to be a much longer book. This is because Sam...
“Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, Who seek Him with their whole heart, Who also do no wrong but walk in His ways! You have commanded your precepts to be kept diligently. Your testimonies are my delight. They are my counselors.” Psalm 119: 2-4, 24 As...
Years ago, I saw a picture colored by a small kid sitting in a church service. Looming over the whole page was a big-headed man on a big platform behind a big pulpit holding a big Bible, with a prominent scowl and dark, frowny eyebrows. I don’t know the artistic...
As a fledgling counselor, I put a lot of time, toil, tears, and sweat into session preparation. I devoured every Scripture and supplemental resource on an endless list of topics. I wanted to be prepared for anything. Are you deathly phobic of mayonnaise? I’ve read all...
I’m a patient woman. I can wait in the self-checkout line at least 26 seconds before I start deep-sighing and foot-tapping. I’ve also built up to exactly three seconds before I blast my horn at a still-stopped car when the light turns green. I can’t speak globally,...
I met her at Starbucks, across the street from the hospital. She was frantic. She was typically frantic when we got together, but this time it was worse. She was off her meds.[1] I studied her eyes. She told me about her nightmares and panic attacks. I found myself...
It is evident that Christine Chappell has written this “Help!” booklet from her heart. Her words overflow with the compassion and understanding that comes with walking gracefully through a trial. She writes that she’s both experienced depression herself, and walked...
When counseling, I have the privilege of entering into the story of another. These individual narratives, unique to the characters inhabiting them, involve a variety of movements. Though some are predicable, following the usual patterns and challenges of life, many...
Maybe you've sat in on a few counseling sessions. Perhaps you’ve watched biblical counseling videos but have yet to officially counsel someone. You wouldn't dare. Most of us never feel ready to counsel. It’s a daunting task to put yourself out there while still...
Have you ever seen someone change without the gospel? People do it all the time. They discover a new diet or decide to turn over a new leaf, and significant change absolutely takes place. Maybe they lose 20, 40, or 100 lbs. Maybe they stop drinking and begin to spend...
“In this life, you will have tribulation...” (Jn. 16:33). Suffering … must we? A Biblical Example of Suffering There are numerous people in God’s Word who suffered well under provocation, for our example, encouragement, and hope (Rom. 15:4). Hannah is a wonderful...
“A good counselor is first a good counselee.” This biblical counseling mantra is never more true than in the final supervision phase of the ACBC certification process. It was while being supervised by ACBC Fellow, Dr. Nicholas Ellen, that I learned a helpful acronym...
Whether you’re a counselor, pastor, or friend, when you love hurting people you’ll eventually feel the weight of their pain.[1] And when you carry lots of people’s burdens, you may start to feel stretched beyond your limits, and spread thin, “like butter that has been...
![Book Review: Help[H]er](https://ibcd.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/bookreview-help-her-1080x630.jpg)
It isn’t groundbreaking to state that women should be involved in the care of other women in the local church, yet they are so often excluded. Help[H]er: A Churchwide Response for Women in Crisis by Bernie Lawrence and Ann Maree Goudzwaard is a concise, poignant, and...
PURSUING WISDOM Do you remember Jason? I mentioned him in the first part of the blog series. He was the boy who had his heart wrapped up in folly while on a trajectory that led to destruction. Although I changed the names of other people mentioned in this blog, I want...
HELPING THE FOOL CHANGE Six principles should be implemented in order to help the fool become wise and lead them to biblical change.[1] First, it is essential to show the fool from God’s Word that there is hope (Prov. 13:12; Rom. 15:1-6). Some fools will come asking...
5 TYPES OF FOOLS The premise of this blog series is that there are various types and degrees of foolishness. This post will present the biblical terms related to folly, exhibiting the successive degrees of foolishness, and then revealing the heart of a fool. THE...
WHAT, EXACTLY, IS A FOOL? Jason’s main goal in life was to make his mother miserable. His parents divorced when he was nine-years-old, and Jason blamed his mom for all of the hurt and pain he felt; he wanted to inflict as much pain on her as possible. But Jason’s mom...
Ancient Greek philosophers considered self-control (i.e., temperance) to be a cardinal virtue. If you were a person that possessed self-control, then you were disciplined, focused, restrained, and intentional. We often think of self-control in similar terms—we must...
by Anna Mondal Do you ever feel like you’ve missed God’s will? Like you made an irreversibly wrong choice, and your life is off track forever? If I had chosen a different college major, I’d have a real job by now. If I’d been a better parent, my child wouldn’t be...
Announcing The Hope + Help Podcast IBCD is pleased to announce the launch of the Hope + Help Podcast on Monday, February 24th. The show, hosted by author and writer Christine Chappell, is intended to provide listeners with rich, biblical conversations about life’s...
How many times have you stood in front of the person you have offended and said these words, “I’m sorry.” Let’s dissect what these words convey. We often hear children apologize with these same words when they accidentally spill milk. They communicate, "I messed up.”...
When I think of George (Skip) Scipione what comes to mind are two words – humble and crusty! He was an accomplished counselor, a pastor and a seminary professor with a Ph.D. after his name, but he was “just” Skip, and he made you feel very comfortable around him. I...
George (Skip) Scipione was my boss from June of 1994 to 2006. I was a counselee back in 1991 and a fledgling Christian. I knew the gospel, but didn't know "worry" was a sin! My eyes were opened to Biblical Counseling and when the job came up to help manage the office...
The Gift of a Good Father-in-Law: In Memory of George Scipione There has been a lot said about the way George faithfully lived his life as a Pastor, Mentor, Teacher, Counselor, and more. But, I want to tell you about what it has been like to live with George as a...
Spending any time at all with Skip was such an enriching experience. Remembering his puns (about everything, nothing was off-limits), hearing him talk to students, professors, counselors, etc., but especially his prayers will always stick with me. He knew who this God...
I didn’t know George “Skip” Scipione for a long time, but he really did feel like a life-long friend. That’s just how George was; hospitable, thoughtful, and kind hearted. If you were fortunate to spend any time with George and his wife, Eileen, you know what I mean....
I first heard about George over a decade ago when I was a new employee at the IBCD office in Escondido. I had not met him, but he was the organization’s founder and former director, who was living on the east coast. It took me a while to connect that someone people...
I have had the immense blessing of being surrounded by numerous people, men and women, who have brought their gifts to bear in my life in ways that have transformed me for the better. George Scipione (Skip) was one of them. In some ways, he has been one of the most...
I thank God for the life of George Scipione. He was my professor of counseling in seminary in 1987 and then my mentor as we worked together at IBCD, formerly CCEF West, beginning in 1994 (2 Tim. 2:2). George asked me to take over as Director of IBCD in 2006. George...
by Shannon Kay McCoy “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” (Psalm 25:16) Have you ever felt utterly alone? Have you experienced the dark cloud of loneliness? Loneliness is an unsettling feeling of disconnection from others, whether alone...
by Scott Mehl Over the past few months I’ve made the case for why counseling ought to take place in our homes, church offices, and public spaces. I hope that, by now, you’ve come to appreciate that counseling doesn’t just take one form, but can vary significantly in...
Life is riddled with lonely seasons. Friends get married—you’re still single. Soldiers get deployed. Spouses separate. People disappoint and wound us. We disappoint and wound others. People die. And we are lonely. Loneliness is like a sudden tide, that, “in the most...
As one pastor so aptly stated, “The Christian life is the discipled life and the discipling life”.[1] When the resurrected Christ met his eleven disciples on the mountain he had designated, He said to them, “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the...
You sit, sick with sorrow, as your counselee discloses stories of incest, a forced abortion, or cruel childhood neglect. And these things you shudder to think of, had to be endured.[1] What do you say in response to the unsayable? God provides (and Christ models) an...
The Focus The tagline for "But God…" reads, “the two words are the heart of the Gospel”. Casey Lute offers commentary on nine crucial points in Scripture in which we see the God of Salvation enter the picture and save. This look at the beauty of the gospel inspires a...
I’ve previously made the case for why counseling should take place in our homes as well as why it should take place in church offices. However, these aren’t the only two options when it comes to biblical counseling. The truth is, biblical counseling can (and often...
Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. (Psalm 73:25) Life can be super busy. Many activities and challenges compete for our time and attention—work, family, friends, church, sports, and shopping—distracting us from...
Dr. Jim Newheiser’s expertise is taking a worldly problem and paring it down to its biblical definition and solution. In the Lord’s wisdom, he has orchestrated a pattern to moneymaking and wealth management. He designed work as something good, present before the fall...
It doesn’t take much to see we live in a discontent society. Turn on any television and within seconds you will observe it. But discontentment is not just isolated to the world. Often Christians battle discontentment in their own hearts. Discontentment seeks to...
“Stop and smell the roses,” they say. As if you didn’t have eighty-eight thousand tasks, as if you didn’t have deadlines or drama or diapers. In our rapid-fire, tech-oriented society, who has the luxury of stopping to sit in nature like a bohemian free spirit? Even in...
I believe we have missed the mark in ministering to women held captive by their husband’s cruel words. I want you to know that the reason I feel I have permission to say this is that I am one of the chief offenders. I’ve been a biblical counselor for over ten years,...
A few years ago my favorite[1] professor at RTS Charlotte wrote a book called What’s your Worldview? In it, he used an interactive method similar to the Choose Your Own Adventure (CYOA) children’s gamebook series. It invited the reader to “make key decisions or...
This is the last in a four-part series on ways complementarian men can degrade into patriarchy in the way they consider their wives’ interpretation of and reaction to situations and their desires. Today's post concludes this series with a word on theological aptitude....
Part 2 of this series looked at the first two ways in which complementarian men slide into functional patriarchy. Today’s discussion adds the navigation of a husband’s and wife’s desires. 3) Desires Desires are good, God-given impulses, and human life would grind to a...
Part 1 established that a husband’s status as leader within the family is not derived from his superiority in wisdom or morality. Complementarian men are quick to acknowledge this truth, but a gap often exists between ideas and life. This post looks at the first two...
I am what is often called in theological terms a “strong complementarian.” I hold to the traditional Christian position that church leadership should be comprised of men and that women ought not to teach mixed-group adult church gatherings. I also believe that God has...
Earlier this year, a friend came to town to take a class at a local seminary. She knew I was training as a domestic abuse advocate, so she asked if we could get together and talk about one of her counseling cases. When we met for breakfast, I sat quietly listening as...
Well-meaning church leaders often fail to distinguish between ordinary marital conflict and situations in which one spouse is abusing the other. The abusive spouse, usually the husband, is often able to manipulate inexperienced counselors by deflecting attention from...
Last month I made the case for why biblical counseling should often take place in our homes. Of course, you’ll notice that in my entire post I never quoted a single Bible verse that required personal ministry to take place in the home. That’s because there isn’t one....
A Life of Hospitality In The Gospel Comes with a House Key [1], Rosaria Butterfield invites us into a life of sacrifice and open doors. She has lived it and she surely has stories to tell. Most of the book is written anecdotally, offering a personal glimpse into the...
“Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13) Relationships are difficult. Interaction with others is essential—which means that someone will...
For six months I met with a husband who was so likeable! He talked of how he struggled to be obedient to God, how his faith was existent, just waning, and how he wanted to love his wife but simply didn’t know what to do. Six months of this! And in that six months, his...
Whenever someone reaches out to meet with you, whether it’s a friend who sends you a text, or a church member who has asked the church staff for someone to talk to, there are all sorts of initial questions you might have. You’ll probably want to have a general idea...
The Problem I doubt I’m the first counselor to observe that many, many counselees suffer from low levels of Bible literacy. Some find Bible reading boring, while others find the Bible too difficult to understand. Some would say that the Bible is not applicable to...
Often when counselees succumb to fear and doubt over troubling circumstances, they allow it to rule the day and consequently feel helpless and hopeless. So where should their help come from when they feel all hope is gone? Where can they turn when their suffering...
There are a few passages within biblical counseling that encapsulate tenets that are crucial to counseling—Proverbs 4:23, the heart; Matthew 12:34, communication; 1 Corinthians 10:13, hope; Ephesians 4:22-24, the process of change. Having an understanding of these...
by Ann Maree Goudzwaard A particularly fruitful exercise in the practice of biblical counseling is data gathering. The Personal Data Inventory helps counselors discover basic information about the counselee and the nature of their problem. Counselors can refer back to...
by Greg Gifford, PhD Relational tension soon follows people who are not aware of how they are influencing others. “I had no idea that upset you,” we might hear in one of those tense moments. Or, “if I had known that was a problem, I never would have done that.” How...
I have a rather difficult name. Ever since I was a child I’ve had to explain it. I have two first names but no middle name, and, for some reason, this doesn’t make sense to people. Additionally, “Ann Maree” doesn’t roll naturally off the tongue. Typically, folks (my...
“Those who make them become like them; so do all who trust in them.” (Ps. 115:8) Many chefs love cooking with a unique food called tofu. It is a bean curd made from soybean and milk pressed into solid white blocks. It is one of the most versatile foods—which can be...
This article is the first in a series focused on counseling the young members of our community. It addresses the importance of speaking the Word of God to the children among us. Biblical counselors should be equipped to help children who need counseling. Children are...
Unfortunately, too many Christian women have to endure the heartbreak of domestic abuse. Unfortunately, too many pastors and biblical counselors are ill-equipped to deal with the trauma and complexity of abuse cases. Unfortunately, some of us deal with abuse cases not...
Louis Berkhof makes an interesting comment. He says, “None of the attributes of God are incommunicable in the sense that there is no trace of them found in man.”[1] In light of Berhof’s thought, listen to the words of 2 Corinthians 3:18: “And we all, with unveiled...
“I can’t.” “I’ve hit my limit.” “It’s just too hard.” “This situation makes me respond that way.” “I can’t help myself.” If you’ve spent any amount of time ministering to others, I’m sure you’ve heard these kinds of statements. They are the statements of the...
Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are virtually overwhelmed with the hashtag #metoo, identifying people who have suffered at the hands of an abuser.As each high profile case hits the headlines, our hearts are burdened by the victim’s suffering and we long to help. Over the years, IBCD has invited pastors and counselors to share with us how to speak the truth of God’s love tenderly to those who have been abused. The Word of God is a powerful comfort that rescues the weak and needy (Ps 82:1-4). We want you to know that these solid, biblical resources are now located together in one place and can be easily accessed as you seek to minister the love of God.
Father's Day is this Sunday, June 18. We wanted to remind our supporters that if you do your shopping at smile.amazon.com, Amazon will donate to IBCD. Simple click the address above to access Amazon through IBCD's unique charity link. We also wanted to highlight some...
Muchos de ustedes nos han contactado respecto a la necesidad de recursos y capacitaciones de consejería bíblica en español. Estamos gustosos de anunciar que finalmente tenemos una respuesta. La Fuente, una iglesia en Quito-Ecuador, esta dispuesta a realizar el doblaje en español de nuestros Videos de Observación ” Jeremy y Crystal” dirigidos a la consejería en un caso de pornografía.
This article was written by Christina Henson for use in the IBCD Winter Newsletter. Christina recently had the opportunity to interview Jim & Caroline Newheiser and discuss their new roles at Reformed Theological Seminary in Charlotte, North Carolina.
What do you see as some of the key issues facing women counselees today? A number of issues come to mind. So many women come to the counseling office with poor theology and a lack of familiarity with the Bible. There is nothing more important than knowing God (Jn...
In three weeks, our 2016 Summer Institute "Disordered Desires" will kick off and we'll be tackling some of the most pressing questions of our time here in San Diego. As cultural attitudes on sex and marriage continue to shift, the church has a greater opportunity than...
Daelynn Romo is a wife and mother of three, an active church member and a friend of IBCD. She is also the face of Danielle, a counselee in one of IBCD’s Observation Videos. At the urging of her husband, Danielle comes to seek counsel from her pastor’s wife after an old struggle with an eating disorder re-emerges. We asked Daelynn to talk with us about her experience and to share her own story.
2016 is already proving to be a year of exciting transition and growth! After months of work we were able to launch our new website which works better with mobile devices, gives us more control of our content, and will enable us to make and distribute helpful...
We were shocked last week when we heard that Charles had been caught in a pattern of adultery and deceit and had been removed from office. How could such a thing happen to a man who seemed to have it all together, who had successfully passed through the temptations of his younger years, who seemed to have everything a minister could want? Does this mean that his entire ministry had been a lie? Are the books, articles and tapes he produced worthless? Or did something happen to take a man who had been qualified and used of God and ruin him?