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Three Ways to Care for Caregivers

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July 29, 2024

Bill has stopped going to church. It’s his dementia. Not only does he feel isolated in a crowd due to his inability to remember and communicate well, the loudness of the congregational singing—acceptable by most standards—sounds dissonant and upsets him. Disappointed, Bill and his family sit at home and watch a televised church service instead. They still affectionately identify with their local church. But they don’t feel part of it. For them, church is just another fading memory.

Anne’s diagnosis puts her on the autism spectrum. She acts and speaks out in church in response to her increasing anxiety because church activities frustrate her. When this happens, it upsets the people around her; consequently, they don’t want to sit near her, which make her (and her family) feel even more rejected. One church leader recently asked Anne’s family if they thought they were a good fit in their local church. Everyone feels hurt.

 

A Cry for Help

Many people with disabilities cannot attend church. They find it difficult (if not impossible) because they have a disability that restricts them to their home or a residential care facility. Their local church building may have ramps, widened doorways, and accessible restrooms. But their disability either alienates them from church or requires that they stay at home or in a facility to receive care. Sadly, it is easy for churches to forget about these individuals.

But what about their caregivers? These same difficult situations impact caregivers profoundly. Respite may free up a caregiver to go to a church service without their loved one with a disability. But many care-giving families would rather not leave them behind. They believe that no family member should be excluded from corporate worship. What can we do as churches to help people with disabilities and their caregiving families?

 

A Compassionate Way Forward

These sad but common situations point to a systemic problem that calls for our attention. What are three ways a church can address these heartbreaking circumstances? Let’s consider reframing soul care ministry from a church building to home or institution-bound individuals and their caregivers.

1.) Mobilize your local church body.

This simple mindset is a game-changer. By God’s design, the church offers spiritual resources, services, and practices—in a word, church life. If individuals and their families are not able to come to church, a church can take all its ministries and resources to them. Doing so requires biblically-creative thinking. After all, the Apostle Paul was imprisoned for quite some time. Fellow Christians from the churches to whom he had ministered went to Paul in jail—they brought him what he needed and helped to deliver his letters to the local church bodies he cared for (Acts 28:30-31). Yes, the church life was portable from its inception! This included the involvement of all church members.

Some might argue that pastors and deacons should do visitation ministry, serving families impacted by disabilities that separate them from the church. That’s true. But there are not enough church leaders to regularly visit these alienated saints. What’s more, visitation is not regular and ongoing biblical fellowship. It tends to be hit and miss. So what distinguishes pastoral visitation from biblical fellowship? One distinction is one-another reciprocal body life.

2.) Focus on one-anothering.

Biblical ministry must be conducted for groups of people. But we must not miss the way the early New Testament church often did soul care. Recall Priscilla and Aquila appealing to Apollos from the Scriptures (Acts 18:18-28). How many times have we experienced—both in giving and receiving—this one-on-one ministry in sharing the gospel and helping others grow spiritually?

The words one another” in many scripture passages remind us that it is easy to lose sight of the individual. Soul care often is conducted one on one. It is mobilized and often spontaneous ministry. This need is acute when approaching the care of caregivers who need our proactive support but often are cut off from attending church. The situation is considerably worse for individuals with disabilities who cannot come to the gathered assembly.

3.) Bring church into the home.

The early New Testament church was modeled on the home. It comes as no surprise that the fledgling church assemblies valued hospitality, for it entails creating a home and family-like atmosphere. Anywhere. Back then, it was just about anywhere people would meet. Today, it might be a coffee shop or a park. But for some people—back then and now—it’s their home or an institution to which they are restricted due to disability challenges.

After all, the early church started in homes. Families would invite fellow Christians into their living spaces to do everything we do in our local churches. The Apostle Paul speaks gratefully and affectionately of Prisca and Aquilla for hosting a church in their home when he says, “Greet the church that is in their house” (Ro. 16:5). Celebrating communion, conducting baptism in a nearby body of water, preaching and teaching, and counseling of all sorts were conducted in open areas of homes or in proximity to them. Taking the church to the home of a person with dementia or autism—or even to a hospital or other form of residential care—should seem natural to us as well.

People with disabilities and their families need not remain cut off from the local church and all its resources, services, and activities—its life. If we are willing to take the church to them, this large and growing number of believers can enjoy fellowship and grow spiritually just like anyone else. We must include them.

Author

  • Dave Deuel
    Dave Deuel PhD is Senior Research Fellow Emeritus for the Joni Eareckson Tada Disability Research center, Academic Dean Emeritus for the Master’s Academy International, Catalyst for Disability Concerns Issue Network for the Lausanne Movement, and Chairperson for the New York State Council on Developmental Disabilities. Dave has authored several Lifeline minibooks(Shepherd Press) including Help! My Child Has a Disability and Help! My Friend Has a Disability.
    View all posts
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