Criticism hurts. It leaves more bruises than “sticks and stones” and it cuts our fellow man one sword-thrust at a time (Prov. 12:18). Harsh words can hurt because life and death are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:12). And sadly, our criticism is rarely kind, even when we think we’re being helpful (Eph. 4:29–32). We have all seen the harmful effects in broken families or in the local church. And criticism brings dishonor to the name of Christ as well (Col. 3:17).
The Heart of Criticism
Yet before such corrosive language exits our mouth, it foments in the heart. According to Luke 6:45, “The evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” So, consider some potential heart motives of degrading speech:
- Pride (Jas. 4:7, 12; Gal. 5:26)
- Self-righteousness (Matt. 7:3–5)
- Covetousness (Gen. 37:11)
- Insecurity (Prov. 29:25)
- Bitterness (Heb. 12:15)
- Vengeance (Rom. 12:17–21)
- Legalism (Luke 11:37–54)
- Guilt (Gen. 3:11–13)
- Prejudice (Jas. 2:1–10)
- Perfectionism (Col. 3:21)
The Hope in Criticism
Our hope as Christ-followers is to respond with gospel grace even when criticized. As Paul claims when enemies have torn him down, “If I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth; but I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me” (2 Cor. 12:6; see 10:10). D.A. Carson observes,
“What is remarkable is the way Paul’s stance differs from our own. Many Christians today, even Christian leaders, go through life fearful that people will think too little of them. They quickly become irritable if someone, especially a junior, is praised more than they. But Paul goes through life fearful that people will think too much of him.” [1]
Such thinking is radically counterintuitive. Paul could have defended himself, but he chooses not to. And the way we respond to criticism reveals our heart as well.
Gospel grace provides a twofold response to criticism.[2] First, at the cross, I agree with God’s judgment of me (Rom. 3:10–12). We can humbly respond to critics, “I am worse than you think. Even if I don’t accept everything you say, you could have said much worse. In fact, my sin was so awful that Jesus had to die for me” (5:8). As Paul declares, even near the end of his gospel ministry, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost” (1 Tim. 1:15).
Secondly, at the cross, I agree with God’s justification of me (Rom. 3:23–26). We can honestly admit when criticized, “Although I’m worse than you think, Jesus is better than you know. And no condemnation can ever stick to those made righteous in Christ” (8:1; 2 Cor. 5:21). So also, Paul does not boast in himself, but “in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world” (Gal. 6:14).
God uses criticism to sanctify us, whether its claims are right or wrong (Prov. 27:5–6a). So, instead of reacting in self-defensive anger, examine it to see what’s true (Ps. 139:23–24). Humbly admit that you might be blind to certain faults, then chew the meat and spit out the bones. A wise person endures correction (Prov. 9:8–9) and does not revile in return (1 Pet. 2:23). What’s your heart’s response when others criticize you?
The Help for Criticism
Criticism reminds us that we must all be transformed by gospel grace. So, before responding, pray for those who speak against you (Matt. 5:43–44). Prayer will guard you against uncharitable judgments and unwise retorts. It will temper your words as you express them in the presence of a holy God (Isa. 6:5).
Consider also your critic’s faith. If they’re a fellow believer, you will spend eternity together, so “do not destroy the one for whom Christ died” (Rom. 14:15). And if they’re an unbeliever, they need compassion more than your correction (Matt. 9:36). They must receive our Lord’s converting grace above all else.
Most importantly, deal gently with every one of them as God has dealt gently with you (Gal. 6:1; 2 Tim. 2:24–25). Approach them with humility since you also are being sanctified by gospel grace. For “if God’s mercies to you are ‘new every morning,’ should you not start every morning with a fresh batch of mercy toward others?”[3]
Perhaps the Lord may grant the opportunity to speak into your critic’s heart to help them heal. This happens as they put off sinful motives and put on godliness through powerful truths in Christ (Eph. 4:21–24).
Our hearts likewise change as we minister to critics and seek peace for the glory of Christ (Rom. 12:18; 14:19). What they meant for evil, God can turn for good (Gen. 50:20). Criticism exposes our hearts and reveals our need for grace as well. “For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything” (1 John 3:20). Praise God who is both “just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus” (Rom. 3:26).
[1] D.A. Carson, Basics for Believers: An Exposition of Philippians (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1996), 80.
[2] I am guided by Alfred Poirier, “The Cross and Criticism,” JBC 17:3 (1999) and the correspondence of John Newton (1725–1807), On Controversy.
[3] Lou Priolo, Judgments: Rash or Righteous (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R, 2009), 23.
Hear more from Tom Sugimura on the topic of wise counsel from the Scriptures at this year’s Summer Institute. Tickets on sale now!
