032 Interview with Caroline Newheiser {Clip 2 | 2:47}

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December 13, 2017

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That’s a great question and I think, obviously, these promoting women’s issues, our conference this year is about addictions. We had the pre-conference about domestic abuse. There’s an example where women need to be coming alongside. How do you get them to do that?

A lot of it is because women are talking to one another and in my workshop on “Living with an Angry Husband” I encourage the ladies to come alongside and ask questions if they see bruising, for example. Just in a loving way, “Could you help me understand what’s happening in your life because I care about you.” That’s happening on the one-on-one level in the church, and then those women are the ones who might be the people to encourage the ladies, the wives, to go to the leadership with domestic abuse or domestic violence issue.

I’m encouraged by reading 1 Thessalonians 5:11, which says, “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up just as you are doing.” As preachers, you’re preaching from the pulpit that we should do the one another care. It should be happening individually in the church, but those ladies will need training, a lot of them, that’s why they’re at this conference.

Mainly, they were attracted to the topic or know somebody or they’re already involved in counseling and these issues are coming into the office. The pastor could encourage from the pulpit by preaching one another care and then organizations like IBCD, which bring counseling into the church is what we need to encourage women to take advantage of.

Not everybody has to get a masters of arts in Christian counseling, but they can do one another care and they’re called to. Older women are called to help younger women to love their husbands, for example. This is what the goal is, I know, of IBCD, and this is what we need to be reminded of. I wish that the pastors hearing this podcast will take that into account.

It could be that the culture of the church could be changed by that teaching. As it comes up in scripture, to just bring it out that even cross-generational, I’m not talking about even your pals, but looking out for the other women in the church, keeping an eye on building relationships with people outside of your category of age, and experience.

Author

  • Caroline Newheiser is an ACBC certified counselor and has earned her master’s degree in Christian Counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary-Charlotte where she is the Assistant Coordinator of Women’s Counseling. Her husband, Jim, is the Director of the Christian Counseling program and is an Associate Professor of Counseling and Practical Theology at RTS-Charlotte. She has many years of experience counseling women in the local church and has a passion to help women view their lives biblically. She was a pastor’s wife for over 34 years, including 6 years in Saudi Arabia, before moving to Charlotte. She and Jim have three adult sons and four grandchildren.
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You don’t have to have a counseling center to be effective in your community. In fact, you know, I would argue from scripture that it’s you know, as you go you’re preaching the gospel so you know, the church is gathering together to be equipped, to be encouraged, and then we disperse, right? We go to our work places, we go to our schools, we go to our neighborhoods. That one-on-one ministry, where now we have some equipping to be able to address some of those life issues, you know I think as a pastor I’m thinking I want the average person at our church to be able to you know, talking to their neighbor next door that evening and a life issue comes up. You know, a teenager that’s addicted to something, or you know, they’re having marriage problems. I would hope that a believer at that point wouldn’t say, “Well hey, let’s go to our community counseling ministry,” although they could do that, but that they would engage them wisely and in a loving way from the scriptures to give them gospel hope in that moment.

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So didn’t realize it at the time, but by teaching literally every leader in our church who was teaching at some level, taking them through a basic course in Biblical counseling, I didn’t tell them that. I said, “This is discipleship material,” but to get that type of training it really created a culture in our church that helping others with the gospel from the scriptures for life problems, for training children, training adults, you know, whatever it is, that’s normal church ministry.