What comprises a biblical view of sorrow? Perhaps some of the Scriptures that come to mind in soul care ministry are Paul’s references to worldly and godly sorrow in 2 Corinthians 7. There, he speaks of a guilt-induced heaviness of the heart that stems from sin and is remedied through repentance. But what happens when our understanding of sorrow is limited to this passage—when we only see sorrow in connection to personal sin? Is repentance always the remedy for sadness? Is the goal of biblical counseling to make people impervious to grief?
Wise counsel takes the whole Word of God into account when engaging in whole-person care.
While Paul’s distinction between worldly and godly sorrow is critical, the Scriptures speak more broadly to the function of sorrow in a fallen world. Perhaps the most under-appreciated insights about this “affliction of exile” are found in the book of Ecclesiastes. There, sorrow isn’t narrowly viewed as a consequence of personal sin, but as a consequence of the curse suffered by the righteous and wicked alike. This has important ramifications for discipleship. If we think of sorrow purely as something to be resisted or repented of, we steal someone’s opportunity to grow in wisdom and gospel joy (Eccles. 7:2-4).
While we don’t want to counsel sorrow to the exclusion of moral responsibility, we also don’t want to downplay unavoidable suffering or the purposes of providence. In my ministry, I’ve seen hope restored as perspectives on sorrow are enlarged to include a theology of suffering—a framework that’s unafraid to acknowledge the “unhappy business” (Eccles. 1:13) of life. Ecclesiastes helps us to build such a theology. It offers a redemptive perspective on sorrow as well as counsel for engaging it wisely.
Sorrow as a Symptom
In Ecclesiastes, we see sorrow presented as a symptom of post-fall life. Before the curse, creation thrived and functioned the way God intended: Adam knew nothing of sorrow, and Eve nothing of pain. But when their disobedience in the garden brought these foreign experiences upon them (and subsequently, upon us), flourishing became an exercise in futility (Gen. 3:16-19; Eccles. 2:22-23). Under the curse, “all things are full of weariness” (Eccles. 1:8); the “days of darkness” (Eccles. 11:8) are many and man dies just like the beast (Eccles. 3:19). Losses abound as adversity comes again and again—oftentimes, through no fault of our own (Eccles. 7:14).
As we read through Ecclesiastes, we see that sorrow is symptomatic of what we lost in Eden. It isn’t exclusively a fruit of personal sin—it’s also what we feel as we suffer the unavoidable effects of original sin. This category is key to engaging sorrow wisely. It explains why life is so hard to begin with and leads us to look to our Redeemer for hope.
Sorrow as a Signal
While sorrow can alert us to sinful attitudes or behaviors, God also means for it to serve as a signal for help. Consider Ecclesiastes 4:1:
“And behold, the tears of the oppressed, and they had no one to comfort them! On the side of their oppressors there was power, and they had no one to comfort them.”
Here, the preacher doesn’t condemn the sorrow of the oppressed. (“It is not expected that oppressions will be borne with stoical silence.”[1]) Rather, he decries the unopposed evil that causes such tears and the unanswered cries for help! This observation acknowledges a tragic reality: the sorrow of the helpless is so often woefully—wrongfully—ignored.
What do you do when you see someone crying? Does the sight of red eyes and wet cheeks compel you to wonder, “What’s happened here?” If so, realize that you’re being signaled by sorrow—alerted to someone’s need for comfort and aid. In this way, sorrow isn’t only meant to propel people toward repentance. It’s also meant to compel believers to “fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2) through one-another care.
Sorrow as a Season
Perhaps the most well-known chapter of Ecclesiastes is its third one, where the preacher poetically contrasts opposing “seasons” in life. He says there’s “a time for every matter under heaven…a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance” (Eccles. 3:1, 4). His point is that all of our times—both happy and sad—are appointed by God to accomplish His purposes (Ps. 31:15; 139:16). At times, the Lord allows adversity to touch our lives. At other times, He grants blessed reprieve. Here, sorrow is viewed as an appropriate response to particular times—something to be expected and accepted as a purposeful part of fallen life (Eccles. 7:2-4).
Where does God’s providence come into play as you engage someone’s sorrow? Are you attuned to the “times” they are in? When we view all sorrow as the result of personal sin, we risk speaking truths out of season—like Job’s friends did (Job 42:7; Prov. 25:20).[2] Failure to recognize someone’s “times” can lead to merciless counsel, where sorrow is rebuked rather than expressed, consoled, and entrusted to God. As the Man of Sorrows exemplified in His grief, deep sadness can be a right response to terrible wrongs (Isa. 53:3-4; John 11:35).
Responding to Sorrow Wisely
While Ecclesiastes can help us to understand sorrow better, it also helps us to consider how to engage aspects of it wisely. Throughout the book, the preacher often pairs sorrow with “vexation,” observing that life’s fleeting nature can anger us to the point of despair (Eccles. 2:20-21). Surprisingly, it’s this anger that Ecclesiastes 11:10 tells us to put off—not the sorrow we feel in response to the fallen human condition:
”Remove vexation from your heart, and put away pain from your body…”
The preacher’s counsel is immensely practical: uproot bitterness and tend to your physical health. As we care for sorrowing people, we are wise to put these areas in our ministry focus. The goal isn’t to “put off” sadness as quickly as possible, but to help sorrowers recognize when cynicism and disillusionment have impeded their hope.[3] Here, the stumbling block to a life of joy isn’t sorrow. It’s the resentment we harbor over the pain and perplexities of life.
According to Ecclesiastes, sorrow has value beyond the conviction of sin. It also functions as a teacher who helps us to live wisely as we number our days and do good while we can (Ps. 90:12; Eccles. 3:9-13). As we engage people in a Christlike manner, it can be helpful to explore sorrow’s multi-faceted role in sanctification: sometimes it alerts us to make moral corrections, while other times it signals a need for comfort, courage, and care. At all times, the Spirit works through sorrow to deepen our reverence and increase our joy in the Lord. Grief forces us to look beyond this fleeting life for unfading hope (1 Pet. 1:3-4)—to look forward to the day when our tears will finally be wiped away (Rev. 21:4).
[1] Michael A. Eaton, Ecclesiastes: An Introduction and Commentary, vol. 18, Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1983), 105.
[2] Zack Eswine, Recovering Eden: The Gospel According to Ecclesiastes (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2014), 129.
[3] It’s worth noting that for all the “put off” statements found in Ephesians 4, sorrow is not included—but sinful anger and bitterness is.
Note: This article originally appeared at the Biblical Counseling Coalition.
