All Christians deal with anxious moments of all kinds. Recently, my anxiety has stemmed from procedures I needed to undergo in order to treat my cancer. I have been fearful more than once about the physical ramifications of the treatments my doctor prescribed. I know that as a believer, I should remember the truth of Philippians 4:5b-6: “The Lord is at hand; be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” I should follow the imperative about “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). I am to “not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself” (Matt. 6:34a). After all, I am a biblical counselor and have exhorted other women to practice their faith as they rely on these truths!
Yet, despite my knowledge of God’s nearness and care, I still need help. Moses was a man of faith, but even he grew weary holding up his hands during the battle with Amalek. The Lord has shown me his loving care many times, but like Moses, I need help to endure. I call on the Lord—but I still need support.
When you are anxious, be vulnerable with your friends.
We rightly criticize Job’s friends for their accusations and questionable theology. But when they first came to see him, they were compassionate: “They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him” (Job 2:11b). Their sympathy was expressed through weeping and sitting in silence for a week. After this, Job began to share his reaction to his circumstances. His emotions were in anxious turmoil. “For the thing that I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me. I am not at ease, or am I quiet; I have no rest, but trouble comes” (Job 3:25-26). Like Job, I needed to express my weakness and be vulnerable with my friends. Throughout the New Testament, Paul asked his friends to pray for himself and his companions (Eph. 6:19-20, Rom. 15:30-32, Col. 4:3-4, 2 Thess. 3:1-2). We should be willing to follow the example of Job and Paul in sharing needs with others.
Find close friends who will pray for you.
At the beginning of my cancer journey, a group of women joined each other on a text string called “Caroline’s Praying Friends” (CPF). These ladies didn’t know one another at first, but all are Christians and have become friends with each other. These women give me a forum to communicate my prayer requests and my fears. They are friends who love at all times (Prov. 17:17). Their function is to pray, as in James 5:16 (“pray for one another”). Their prayers are especially appreciated because I know that “the prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (also James 5:16). The prayers of my friends are a vital aspect of my healing, and they have helped me deal with my anxious moments.
Accept practical help from your friends.
I have many other friends outside the small CPF group. I learned to be willing to accept their help. They’ve sent gifts of fluffy blankets and robes, slippers and chocolate, gift cards and meals, even a gift box with everything needed for a meal of chicken noodle soup! Local friends have driven me to the cancer center and sat with me in the infusion wing—sometimes for several hours. This became a precious time to talk about distracting topics, as their love took my mind off my fears and worries. Another set of friends has a medical background, and have done so much to educate me on upcoming medical procedures and medications.
All of these friends remind me of the love of Christ exhibited in practical ways. When I become anxious and have difficulty focusing on the lovingkindness of the Lord; my friends are the hands and feet of my Good Shepherd. “No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us” (1 John 4:12). I have seen God abiding in my friends. This is another way of recognizing his love for me.
Friends share Scripture for comfort.
One friend asked me what I need the most. I replied, “I need to be reminded of the Scripture.” When walking through the darkness of worry, I need to see God’s truth. When enveloped with fear, I need someone to remind me of the lamp and light which come from his Word (Psalm 119:105). I then experience the truth that “…the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel” (Proverbs 27:9). I have one friend who sends me meaningful verses she finds in her Bible reading, and another who texts me an encouraging passage almost every day. Ladies in the CPF group occasionally send me links to Scripture set to music as well.
Still more friends send me cards filled with Scripture. I’ve saved each one, and even brought a stack of these cards to the hospital when I was isolated for ten days. Each day, I reread the kind sentiments and Bible verses, displaying four at a time on a shelf visible from my bed. What a testimony to the nursing staff of the outpouring of love which came in from the Christian community, both near and far! Cards continue to arrive in my mailbox and are a source of joy and encouragement to me.
I have seen the Lord work through my friends when I have been anxious. I experienced this blessing after I began to express my vulnerability to them. I realized that when I ask for prayer, many friends willingly petition the Lord on my behalf. As I experience the practical love of the body of Christ, anxiety is replaced by thankfulness for the blessings from others (Phil. 4:5-7). Most of all, I crave the biblical truth offered by my friends. That truth gives me the necessary stability to persevere.
