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Communication Guidelines

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13 guidelines, provided by Timothy Keller, for godly communication, backed up by their scriptural basis, reminding of the various areas that can be worked on for improvement.

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Introductory Questions

  1. What is the biblical basis for intimate communication in marriage? 2:24-25
  2. How do men and women differ in communication needs?
  3. How do men and women differ in styles of communication?
  4. By what means do we communicate? 6:13
  5. What are some communication killers?
    • Proverbs 18:13,2; 10:18,11; 11:13; 29:20; 22; 27:2; 17:20; 12:18-19; 15:1,28; 16:21-24; 25:24; 26:18-19; 18:8; 16:28
    • Ecclesiastes 5:2
    • James 1:19
    • James 3:5-8
    • Ephesians 4:25, 29,31
    • Matthew 5:21-22,33-36
    • 1 Corinthians 13:5
  6. Do you ever say things you don’t really mean?  Mt. 12:34 Pr. 15:2,28

What are some positive biblical principles for communication?

  1. Upon whose needs should you focus?  Phil. 2:3-4 Rom. 15:2
  2. Which is more important–listening or speaking?  Js. 1:19   1 Peter 3:7 Pr. 13:3 10:19
    1. Is it possible to listen without really listening? 13:13
    2. How can you become a better listener? 20:5
  3. How can you learn to speak the truth in love?
    1. Is total honesty always called for? 4:29 Pr. 18:2 10:19 13:3 21:21
    2. How can you communicate on a deeper level?
    3. How can you build others up through your speech? 4:29 Pr. 16:21,24 10:11,21 31:26 14:25 15:7 17:30 27:5
    4. Do you know what style of communication best reaches your spouse?
    5. Does timing matter?  Pr. 27:14 25:11,20 15:23
    6. Does manner of speech matter?  Pr. 15:1 25:15

Practical ways to improve your communication

  1. A communication exercise. Phil. 2:3-4
    1. First, the husband explains the wife’s point of
    2. Then the wife explains her husband’s
    3. Then the wife gently fills in what the husband
    4. Then the husband gently fills in what the wife
  2. Set regular times in which you will give your undivided attention to each
    1. Daily debriefing
    2. Date Night
    3. Get-Aways
  3. Pray together.
  4. Set goals together.
  5. Have fun together

Conclusion

  1. The key is your Mt. 12:34-35
  2. God speaks to Heb. 1:1ff

 

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