“God, I’ll give you one last chance.” Those were my own words as a teenager losing my faith in God. Although my loving parents had raised me in the church, I began to wrestle with the faith I had known my entire life. I chiseled away at my beliefs and even questioned...

“It’s not just that I’m angry,” one counselee told me. “I feel like I lost my family.” That sentence captures a painful reality about church hurt. In After Church Hurt, I define church hurt as “any unrepentant sin that is minimized, normalized, or protected by a...

When people seek counsel for various issues, emotions of some sort are frequently front and center—the person has an “anger problem,” is depressed, fearful, or anxious. Someone has been offended greatly and wants to forgive, but just doesn’t feel that she can forgive....

Because of recent events, there has been a lot written about the topic of depression and suicide, much of which has been very critical of churches and biblical counselors. We have a friend who has been engaged in a long-term heroic struggle with depression that has...

Among the pool of articles covering tragic topics like suicide, addiction, and miscarriage, the topic of perfectionism doesn’t seem so bad. In fact, you may be asking yourself, “what’s so bad about trying to be perfect anyways?” Counselors must be aware that...

All Christians deal with anxious moments of all kinds. Recently, my anxiety has stemmed from procedures I needed to undergo in order to treat my cancer. I have been fearful more than once about the physical ramifications of the treatments my doctor prescribed. I know...

Worry comes all too easily and naturally to most of us, especially as it regards financial matters. You hear a rumor that layoffs are imminent, and you wonder whether you could get a new job at your age. When money is already tight, your daughter needs orthodontic...

For over four decades now, IBCD has existed to “strengthen local churches in one another care.” And as we navigate our fifth decade, the primacy of the local church in our mission has not wavered. There are many different counseling ministries that equip and train...

What comprises a biblical view of sorrow? Perhaps some of the Scriptures that come to mind in soul care ministry are Paul’s references to worldly and godly sorrow in 2 Corinthians 7. There, he speaks of a guilt-induced heaviness of the heart that stems from sin and is...

What are the inward heart motivations of overcommitted, overwhelmed people? Why do we allow others to control us and use us? The Bible gives us insight into the root of the problem when it says, “The fear of man lays a snare” (Proverbs 29:25a). What is happening in...

The experience of being rejected, and the emotional and relational pain which often accompanies it, is universal. We all experience rejection, and we all know how much it hurts. Being in close relationships with others is risky and makes us vulnerable. And yet, given...

Tiredness and weariness are not the same. Tiredness signals that the body needs rest, which is expected and often resolved with sleep or a break. Weariness, however, runs deeper. It lingers even after we have had physical rest and lingers within the heart and soul....

When my nine-year-old daughter learned I was working on a mini-book for depressed postpartum mothers, a look of confusion came over her face. She asked, “Why would a mom feel sad after having a baby? Isn’t that something to be happy about?” My youngest child’s...

It’s much too easy to be discontent. It may be with material possessions, employment, relationships, where we live, or a number of other things with which we are discontent. Perhaps we compare ourselves with others and always fall short, becoming envious or jealous in...

Criticism hurts. It leaves more bruises than “sticks and stones” and it cuts our fellow man one sword-thrust at a time (Prov. 12:18). Harsh words can hurt because life and death are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:12). And sadly, our criticism is rarely kind,...

The Hebrews were not the only ones in the ancient world who appreciated and collected wise sayings. Israel’s neighboring nations also obtained knowledge and valued wisdom in a certain sense. In 1 Kings 4, we observe how the wisdom of King Solomon was compared to that...

"When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping,
he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. . . . Jesus wept." John 11:33, 35 God is not put off by your grief. The shortest verse in the Bible is proof. “Jesus wept.” If Jesus...

Pamela feels her heart flutter suddenly. Then, perspiration runs down her face. She feels dizzy and worries, “Oh no, oh no, oh no, what’s happening?” In a flash, her worry turns to paralyzing panic, and she speed-dials her husband. “I think I’m having a heart attack,”...

The holidays are a time of family gatherings to which most people look forward with joyful anticipation. For some, however, the holidays are filled with interpersonal tension. Difficult relationships can come in many forms but oftentimes they are connected to in-laws....

For the past several years, a counseling burden we’ve seen increase is “church hurt.” By church hurt, I’m referring to any unrepentant sin that is minimized, normalized, or possibly promoted by a church community and/or a church’s leadership. At first, I didn’t like...

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase “biblical counseling”? It’s a phrase that’s been used for over half-a-century now. And in that time, it’s come to mean different things to different people. Some people consider biblical counseling to be a codeword that...

In an era when many are choosing not to have children, believers stand out as those who choose to fulfill the creation mandate to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28). When many see children as expensive inconveniences, we regard our children to be a blessing from...

Bill has stopped going to church. It’s his dementia. Not only does he feel isolated in a crowd due to his inability to remember and communicate well, the loudness of the congregational singing—acceptable by most standards—sounds dissonant and upsets him. Disappointed,...

Many Christian men know they have a God-given responsibility to lead family worship. They remember how God called Abraham to “command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord” (Gen. 18:19). They’re aware that Moses instructs fathers to...

To say that our world is confused about sex is a dramatic understatement. You don’t need an anecdote or statistic. You face the reality of it every day. And, unfortunately, this confusion isn’t only “out there” in the world, but it also has dramatic effects in both...

As I walked out of the grocery store with a cart full of groceries, a freezing winter wind cut through my jacket. The late-afternoon sky was dark grey, and an icy snow was falling. As I approached the car, my exhaustion seemed overwhelming. I’d been struggling through...

The Holy Spirit brings us assurance as we meditate on the love Jesus shows for sinners. I'm not referring to his former demonstration of love, which he showed by dying in our place, but to his perpetual love in there here and now. Jesus is not only our Lord and Savior...

Parenting is hard. And it seems to get harder every year our children grow up. In the 1985 classic, Teen Wolf, Michael J. Fox plays a young man who transforms into a werewolf at inopportune moments. The results are sometimes awkward and mostly humorous, while making...

“There’s a lot of talk about how to lament these days, but what do we do after—what comes next?” My friend’s question was intriguing. He was right to identify the need for extended reflection. After all, the moments following lament are just as important as the...

In February 2020, IBCD launched the Hope + Help Podcast in an effort to host approachable biblical conversations about life's challenging problems. Since its inception, the show has been streamed nearly 275,000 times worldwide. We're thankful to the many guests who...

One day, I found myself seated on the bedroom floor, tears streaming down my face as I stared at divorce papers. The realization hit hard—I was now a divorced Christian and a single mother. The weight of embarrassment and shame kept me from facing my church community....

I find that many Christians get uncomfortable when talking about God and healing. To discuss God bringing physical healing raises controversial questions about spiritual gifts. To discuss emotional healing seems to reflect a concept created by modern psychology, and...

God is never the source of temptation to sin. Instead, the cycle begins with strong desires in our hearts. So perhaps you’re wondering if the devil is involved at all. Yes, he is. Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in...

What did you expect when you found yourself expecting?* Years ago, I imagined motherhood would be full of joyous milestones and memorable moments. What I didn’t expect was so much hurt, heartbreak, conflict, and disappointment. I’ve often felt clueless and incapable....

Motherhood is a rollercoaster ride! It is filled with the ups and downs of heartwarming moments and challenging twists and turns. Yet for anxious moms, this rollercoaster ride can turn them upside down and fill them with anxiety. Amidst the joys of raising children,...