I speak regularly with Christian women who are wading through some measure of sorrow or suffering in their lives. Sometimes these sisters are navigating heartbreak and discouragement. Other times, they feel disillusioned because their knowledge of God doesn’t appear...

“God, I’ll give you one last chance.” Those were my own words as a teenager losing my faith in God. Although my loving parents had raised me in the church, I began to wrestle with the faith I had known my entire life. I chiseled away at my beliefs and even questioned...

“It’s not just that I’m angry,” one counselee told me. “I feel like I lost my family.” That sentence captures a painful reality about church hurt. In After Church Hurt, I define church hurt as “any unrepentant sin that is minimized, normalized, or protected by a...

When people seek counsel for various issues, emotions of some sort are frequently front and center—the person has an “anger problem,” is depressed, fearful, or anxious. Someone has been offended greatly and wants to forgive, but just doesn’t feel that she can forgive....

Because of recent events, there has been a lot written about the topic of depression and suicide, much of which has been very critical of churches and biblical counselors. We have a friend who has been engaged in a long-term heroic struggle with depression that has...

Among the pool of articles covering tragic topics like suicide, addiction, and miscarriage, the topic of perfectionism doesn’t seem so bad. In fact, you may be asking yourself, “what’s so bad about trying to be perfect anyways?” Counselors must be aware that...

All Christians deal with anxious moments of all kinds. Recently, my anxiety has stemmed from procedures I needed to undergo in order to treat my cancer. I have been fearful more than once about the physical ramifications of the treatments my doctor prescribed. I know...

Worry comes all too easily and naturally to most of us, especially as it regards financial matters. You hear a rumor that layoffs are imminent, and you wonder whether you could get a new job at your age. When money is already tight, your daughter needs orthodontic...

For over four decades now, IBCD has existed to “strengthen local churches in one another care.” And as we navigate our fifth decade, the primacy of the local church in our mission has not wavered. There are many different counseling ministries that equip and train...

What comprises a biblical view of sorrow? Perhaps some of the Scriptures that come to mind in soul care ministry are Paul’s references to worldly and godly sorrow in 2 Corinthians 7. There, he speaks of a guilt-induced heaviness of the heart that stems from sin and is...

What are the inward heart motivations of overcommitted, overwhelmed people? Why do we allow others to control us and use us? The Bible gives us insight into the root of the problem when it says, “The fear of man lays a snare” (Proverbs 29:25a). What is happening in...

The experience of being rejected, and the emotional and relational pain which often accompanies it, is universal. We all experience rejection, and we all know how much it hurts. Being in close relationships with others is risky and makes us vulnerable. And yet, given...

Tiredness and weariness are not the same. Tiredness signals that the body needs rest, which is expected and often resolved with sleep or a break. Weariness, however, runs deeper. It lingers even after we have had physical rest and lingers within the heart and soul....

When my nine-year-old daughter learned I was working on a mini-book for depressed postpartum mothers, a look of confusion came over her face. She asked, “Why would a mom feel sad after having a baby? Isn’t that something to be happy about?” My youngest child’s...

It’s much too easy to be discontent. It may be with material possessions, employment, relationships, where we live, or a number of other things with which we are discontent. Perhaps we compare ourselves with others and always fall short, becoming envious or jealous in...

Criticism hurts. It leaves more bruises than “sticks and stones” and it cuts our fellow man one sword-thrust at a time (Prov. 12:18). Harsh words can hurt because life and death are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:12). And sadly, our criticism is rarely kind,...

The Hebrews were not the only ones in the ancient world who appreciated and collected wise sayings. Israel’s neighboring nations also obtained knowledge and valued wisdom in a certain sense. In 1 Kings 4, we observe how the wisdom of King Solomon was compared to that...

"When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping,
he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. . . . Jesus wept." John 11:33, 35 God is not put off by your grief. The shortest verse in the Bible is proof. “Jesus wept.” If Jesus...

Pamela feels her heart flutter suddenly. Then, perspiration runs down her face. She feels dizzy and worries, “Oh no, oh no, oh no, what’s happening?” In a flash, her worry turns to paralyzing panic, and she speed-dials her husband. “I think I’m having a heart attack,”...

The holidays are a time of family gatherings to which most people look forward with joyful anticipation. For some, however, the holidays are filled with interpersonal tension. Difficult relationships can come in many forms but oftentimes they are connected to in-laws....

For the past several years, a counseling burden we’ve seen increase is “church hurt.” By church hurt, I’m referring to any unrepentant sin that is minimized, normalized, or possibly promoted by a church community and/or a church’s leadership. At first, I didn’t like...

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase “biblical counseling”? It’s a phrase that’s been used for over half-a-century now. And in that time, it’s come to mean different things to different people. Some people consider biblical counseling to be a codeword that...

In an era when many are choosing not to have children, believers stand out as those who choose to fulfill the creation mandate to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28). When many see children as expensive inconveniences, we regard our children to be a blessing from...

Bill has stopped going to church. It’s his dementia. Not only does he feel isolated in a crowd due to his inability to remember and communicate well, the loudness of the congregational singing—acceptable by most standards—sounds dissonant and upsets him. Disappointed,...